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  • Congratulations on your engagement

  • You just signed on for a life time of love

  • Companionship, and 12-18 months of logistical hell

  • Step 1: pick a location

  • Okay, this is easy. Barn. –Catholic church

  • Fuck

  • Step 2: make a guest list

  • I have 86 cousins and they all have kids

  • My mom says we have to invite all the couples they met on the cruise last year

  • That means we get to invite 2 friends

  • It’s more than we thought

  • Step 3: set a budget

  • We want something simple and cheap

  • Then fuck that budget cause no matter what you do, it’s gonna be expensive

  • Youre riding on a Shetland pony and then enjoy a 7 course meal in a crochet garden

  • Super low key.

  • Chalkboards, the mason jars. Well get a food truck

  • I’ve got a shed out in the back with some Christmas lights in it

  • Wait, it’s for a fucking wedding

  • Step 4: grow dissolution with commercial wedding industry

  • And resist the urge to elope

  • I’ve talked to the photographer. We could upgrade from the lovey- dovey package to the lovey- dovey platinum package

  • Or we could just say fuck it, drive to Vegas and end this

  • Too late. I already put a down payment on the DJ

  • I’m gonna play the Black Eyed Peas, Whoo!

  • Step 5: send out save the dates

  • Not to be confused with invitation, which are different for some reason

  • I don’t know. Sometimes save the dates are magnets

  • Step 6: fight about things you don’t actually care about

  • The cummerbunds have to be periwinkle

  • Because the bow ties are periwinkle

  • That’s gonna clash with the table runners

  • Step 7: register for gifts you don’t actually care about

  • Do we need a banana unpeeler?

  • Step 8: find an officiant that will appease your super religious extended family

  • And your super liberal atheist friends

  • I’ll talk about how woman is servant to her husband

  • And I’ll also probably mention hell a few times

  • Youll both drink from the earth chalice

  • Then I’ll do a dance in honor of Mother Gaia

  • I will read the Lord’s prayer and also I’m gay

  • Oh, thank god. Youre it. Youre it

  • Step 9: send more fancy litter

  • Make sure to include litter they can litter back to you

  • Not that they will

  • Hey, I was just wondering if you were coming because you haven’t RSVP yet

  • And its 80 dollars per plate, Darren

  • The only thing left to do is step 10

  • Have awkward conversations with friends you couldn’t invite

  • Yeah, I haven’t gotten my invitation yet

  • No. No. No. –Really? Weird. Really? That’s…

  • Congratulations, you planned a wedding

  • Enjoy it. This is the one day when everyone in your life will come together

  • And find something to be disappointed about

  • A buffet? That is so tacky

  • Cousin Sally’s wedding had a chocolate fountain

  • And the cummerbunds clash with the table runners, ugh!

  • Oh my god! Youre at a free party and youre going to complain?

  • You know, everyone should just elope. Just elope

  • Hey guys, it’s Murph from College Humor

  • Click here to subscribe, and here to watch more videos

  • And leave a comment. I’ll get you started

  • Uh, am I the only one who didn’t find this funny?

Congratulations on your engagement

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B1 中級

10ステップで結婚式を計画する方法(本音編 (How to Plan a Wedding in 10 Steps (The Honest Version))

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    Go Tutor に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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