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  • The Taming of the Ego

  • as told by Jed McKenna and his student Julie

  • Ego is a bird's nest -

  • haphazardly collected and

  • carelessly placed,

  • shaped by every bit of debris

  • and every breeze that has

  • ever passed its way.

  • Once you start

  • tearing it apart,

  • you'll actually find

  • very little to identify with -

  • and even less that was

  • consciously placed there

  • by you.

  • And even then,

  • you, who?

  • The self that takes part

  • in the creation and development

  • of self was not itself

  • the product of self,

  • but of countless non-self

  • agencies and events

  • So what is self...

  • really?

  • You can try to take control

  • of yourself,

  • try to make some sense of it,

  • organize it,

  • but all you can really do is

  • tidy up on the surface.

  • Some egos are more cluttered,

  • some less...

  • but the idea that a

  • true self lurks

  • within the clutter

  • is just one of the little vanities

  • that keeps us walking

  • in small, purposeful circles.

  • There's no such thing

  • as true self.

  • Realizing that you have no idea

  • who you are

  • is the beginning of finding out

  • who you are.

  • The idea of the

  • individual self -

  • valid and separate -

  • unravels very quickly

  • under any serious scrutiny;

  • all beliefs do.

  • What takes time and effort

  • is becoming the person who

  • chooses to put the idea

  • of self under such scrutiny

  • and making sense of what's left

  • after the belief is gone.

  • Julie's Holocaust of the Self

  • "Jed,

  • what you called the

  • "first step"

  • is nothing so innocuous

  • as a "step" at all,

  • it's a nuclear holocaust

  • of the self -

  • a personal Armageddon.

  • A post-apocalyptic

  • nightmare metaphor

  • feels in some respects

  • so accurate that

  • an actual post-apocalyptic nightmare

  • would seem like a vain pretender.

  • This is real -

  • and everything else is,

  • as you say,

  • just an image

  • flickering on the wall.

  • All I am is

  • a frightened little bundle

  • of opinions and memories

  • and desires.

  • That's all anyone is.

  • I'm just amazed that

  • everyone isn't like me -

  • doing what I'm doing -

  • ripping away their bullshit

  • as fast as they can.

  • I'm starting to see how deep

  • this separation runs,

  • how pervasive it truly is. "

  • Self Sabotage

  • Ego as a structure of confinement

  • is an apt analogy -

  • but slightly misleading;

  • jails wall in,

  • ego walls out.

  • A minor distinction, perhaps,

  • but a critical one.

  • Whatever's 'out there'

  • isn't holding us in -

  • we're holding "it" out.

  • We are our own keepers.

  • We can open the door

  • and walk out whenever we want.

  • Of course,

  • the thing one leaves isn't just

  • the prison of self...

  • but self itself.

  • So the freedom thus won

  • is something of a booby prize.

  • Julie may rage against

  • the fear that confines us

  • in one email, and

  • display a calm understanding

  • and respect for it in the next.

  • Fear looks like evil when you're

  • trying to escape from it,

  • but it looks very sensible and necessary

  • when you're not.

  • You can say fear and ignorance

  • are bad, and that

  • Maya is evil.

  • But that's a low-level perspective.

  • For this whole dualistic universe thing to work,

  • it's important that everyone

  • doesn't just go wandering off;

  • that they stay on stage

  • and play their role.

  • Fear is the glue that

  • holds the whole thing together

  • and keeps everyone in character.

  • Julie understands that,

  • intellectually, at least.

  • I was walking today,

  • and I was so overcome by happiness

  • that I had to skip...

  • SKIP!

  • I haven't skipped since I

  • got interested in boys~

  • I skipped through the woods,

  • and sang loud, idiot songs,

  • and I jumped up and down on the earth

  • so it knew I was here!

  • Tilly came bounding along with me,

  • leaping and yipping --

  • I think we bonded.

  • I suddenly realized that

  • after more than a year

  • of this agonizing upheaval,

  • I have absolutely nothing to show for it.

  • And that thought was just too funny!

  • It was like the dam had burst...

  • I have no wisdom,

  • no knowledge,

  • nothing to impart,

  • all this hell,

  • and I have nothing to show for it!

  • I have acquired nothing,

  • gained nothing...

  • how perfect!

  • The word "wise fool"

  • popped into my head right then,

  • and it felt perfect.

  • What a great word.

  • I've become so delightfully stupid

  • that I really enjoy being with myself.

  • I think it might be because

  • I don't think about things to much anymore.

  • I can't believe how much of my life

  • I've spent in thought...

  • think, think, think, all day long --

  • as if there was anything to think about!

  • What was I thinking?

  • When this is over I vow

  • never to think again...

  • disgusting habit.

  • Self Realization

  • To become an adult human,

  • is like being born anew

  • into an unimaginably different world,

  • and having to figure out where you are

  • and how everything works.

  • You come to see,

  • as Julie has,

  • that thought,

  • our primary method

  • for understanding life,

  • is really our way of

  • walling ourselves off from it.

  • We translate the world into our

  • our artificial language

  • of symbols and concepts,

  • in order to avoid

  • knowing it directly.

  • Self Acceptance

  • That's how it is, everyday,

  • as I uncover more of these aspects

  • of my former self --

  • some greater, some lesser.

  • I don't grieve for any of them

  • even those I held most dear,

  • I simply mark their passing

  • dry-eyed,

  • shell-shocked,

  • and move on.

  • The Tamed Self

  • When the intervening layer

  • of symbols and concepts is removed,

  • the terrain and self are seen as one,

  • and the rules of motion and navigation

  • become radically different.

  • This is the true but seldom realized

  • potential of the human being

  • Walt Whitman

  • I wandered off by myself,

  • in the mystical moist night air,

  • and from time to time,

  • looked up in perfect silence

  • at the stars.

  • Compiled by Lelabear

  • From information on the world wide web

  • Passages from:

  • Spiritually Incorrect Enlightenment by Jed McKenna

  • Music: Electro Bells

  • and Claire de Lune

  • Sand Art by: Ilana Yahav

  • and Toke-Cha performance

  • for Beth

  • As always... In Lak'ech

The Taming of the Ego

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ジェド-マッケンナ - 自我の飼いならし (Jed McKenna - The Taming of the Ego)

  • 76 4
    Buddhima Xue に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
動画の中の単語