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  • - I think this show is made for us.

  • - Yeah

  • - Interesting hairstyles, booze, drugs and (bleep).

  • (Laughs)

  • - Good old sweaty (bleep).

  • - Hi, I'm Trixie Mattel.

  • - And I'm Katya.

  • - And we are two queens who like to watch.

  • - And what are we watching today?

  • Well, The Queen's Gambit.

  • - Yeah, it's pulled directly from the YouTube comments.

  • This was heavily requested.

  • - Heavily requested and thoroughly enjoyed by me

  • prior to this experience.

  • - Oh really?

  • - Oh yes, honey, I watched it.

  • I watched the (bleep) out of it.

  • - Do you (bleep) with chess?

  • - I don't (bleep) with chess but I (bleep) with this series.

  • - Not at all, not at all.

  • - See you on Farmville, (bleep).

  • (Laughs)

  • (Dramatic music)

  • - [Trixie] Spoilers ahead.

  • - Spoilers alert.

  • - I'm just envisioning that it's going to be

  • this hot girl with short bangs,

  • like leaning over a board,

  • like modeling a lot.

  • - When I (bleep) tell you that's exactly what she does,

  • it's the pursed lips and the focused stare.

  • - It's going to be that.

  • - Yeah.

  • - Maybe we should get into chess.

  • - Nope. No.

  • So now we get to look at the origin story

  • of the lovely Ms. Elizabeth Harmon.

  • Orphaned. Me? Whore-phan.

  • - [Elizabeth] I'm coming.

  • Oh!

  • (Crashing)

  • - [Katya] I love a fall in the bathtub,

  • sets you up for a fun whimsical lump.

  • - Okay. Still hot.

  • - (Bleep).

  • - Oh my God,

  • she's a party girl.

  • You know, a little pep-pill.

  • - Guess who's in the bed.

  • - Her daughter

  • (Laughs)

  • - She's 17.

  • - She's, Oh.

  • Well she's drinking and taking pills.

  • She's in France.

  • - Allô pâlot.

  • What do you think of that wig?

  • She's wigging out.

  • Why is she running?

  • - Mama? She's late for a match.

  • - Boy, I love a Pilgrim shoe.

  • Work (bleep).

  • Oh. Oh is she famous?

  • - Oh yeah, oh yeah.

  • Rising up through the ranks of chess-dom.

  • - That's how famous people get from chess?

  • - Mama, grandmaster wizard level.

  • - I'm sorry.

  • - So that's the Russian guy, he's fabulous.

  • - He's playing against her?

  • - Uh-huh.

  • - Oh, he's been waiting, he's mad.

  • You know how I would sit down

  • if I was playing chess these people?

  • (Moans)

  • and I'll go, uh.

  • What did we say?

  • Hot girl staring in a hot way.

  • - She has a face that you just want to look at.

  • - I want far apart eyes and like

  • - It's the Cupid's bow.

  • - my eyes are so close together,

  • I look like Cyclops.

  • - I think it's the shape.

  • - Oh, I'm not talking about now.

  • But also, how dare you?

  • (Laughs)

  • Well maybe it's the dark black circles

  • you draw around them, you (bleep) baby.

  • - Picasso wasn't understood in his day.

  • - Oh, she's that kind of orphan.

  • - Humble beginnings.

  • - Oh my God.

  • - Every good series starts with a fatal car accident.

  • - Oh.

  • Maybe this is like Slumdog Millionaire

  • and she's good at chess because

  • her parents are dead.

  • She had nothing to do.

  • - Chess-dog Millionaire.

  • - You understand dear, your mother's passed on.

  • You know what that means, don't you?

  • - Is that Nathan Lane?

  • - I love a dramatic lull.

  • Nobody wants to adopt a person over five years old.

  • - Not me, I'm looking for someone 17 and a half.

  • I'm looking to do a quick six months,

  • say I did it.

  • - This is Elizabeth Harmon.

  • - You're all a bunch of (bleep)ing (bleep)suckers!

  • - Jolene.

  • (Laughs)

  • - I did tell you I had a role in this.

  • - You're one of the (bleep)suckers?

  • - Yeah I was (bleep)sucker #2.

  • - Beth is being introduced to her first addiction

  • she picks up, which is pills

  • because the children get drugged here.

  • - I save the green ones up for the nighttime.

  • Otherwise they turn off right

  • when you need them to turn on.

  • - That's a friend.

  • - Your mama and daddy dead?

  • What's the last thing they said to you before they died?

  • - Oh my God.

  • - I know.

  • - This is me trying to relate to people.

  • - I know.

  • - Interesting. Both your parents died.

  • - Both dead? Murder? How bloody?

  • - Yeah, bloody? Yeah.

  • Was it open-casket? Okay.

  • - Do you know how many basic people are about to

  • start chess lessons in two second because of the show?

  • - Like, if I do chess

  • will people think I'm complicated and hot?

  • - Yeah but when they find out it's not checkers,

  • that's a wrap.

  • - I go to chess and the whole time,

  • I think it's Bananagrams.

  • I'm like, I don't know how I'm supposed to spell a word

  • with this.

  • - Scrabble.

  • - Words with Friends.

  • - Funny story,

  • I got so beaten down in Words with Friends

  • that I actually cried.

  • I cried.

  • I cried because I was like, nor

  • N-O-R

  • I was like, what the (bleep) kind of word is that?

  • He's like, neither, nor.

  • I was like, I actually started crying.

  • The Queen's Gambit.

  • (Laughs)

  • - [Katya] So there's this dude in the basement, right?

  • He's kind of like the mysterious janitor

  • and she really wants to get chess lessons.

  • - Oh, she wants to learn.

  • - Yeah.

  • - I hope he's like fine, I'll do it

  • but you have to grow out your bangs.

  • (Laughs)

  • We're not doing this anymore.

  • - Seriously.

  • (Dramatic music)

  • - [Trixie] Let's get turnt.

  • - Any drug addict knows that

  • if you take drugs at night,

  • you develop a special skill.

  • - I can't tell if you're kidding.

  • - No, of course I'm kidding.

  • - Oh, well, I don't know if you have,

  • it depends on what kind of drugs you take.

  • - Yeah, I guess.

  • - If you take drugs at night

  • you might develop a really clean home.

  • - That's true.

  • - You know?

  • - That's true.

  • - Beth, a troubled young drug addict,

  • meets a failed talent who likes to drink.

  • I don't know if you and I will have any insight

  • into this type of relationship,

  • but we'll have to see.

  • - The adventures of Boozehound & Cracky,

  • tonight at eleven.

  • (Laughs)

  • - Everything is so drab.

  • - Color had not been invented yet.

  • Oh.

  • - Fashion montage.

  • - Don't you look lovely.

  • - A lovely utilitarian smock.

  • - Aren't we going to look at the chess sets?

  • - Another time, dear.

  • But I'm going to start giving you 40 cents a week allowance.

  • - Did you have an allowance?

  • - Of course not.

  • - Okay.

  • - My mom had an allowance from the state.

  • (Laughs)

  • It's called welfare, (bleep).

  • Did you have an allowance?

  • - Yeah.

  • - What'd you get?

  • - Ten dollars a week.

  • - I mean, how old were you?

  • - Twenty two.

  • (Laughs)

  • - Do you have any books on chess?

  • - Hi, do you have a VHS copy of the off-Broadway run

  • of the musical chess?

  • - I need you to fill this prescription for me.

  • - And while you're there,

  • - Give me a pack of smokes.

  • - Buy yourself a Coke,

  • - Oh. Six pennies?

  • (Bleep) really? A coke?

  • - I loved back in the day.

  • Will you get me like a winter coat,

  • a couple of refrigerators,

  • three weeks worth of ham,

  • here's a fiver.

  • - Yeah.

  • - There was a lady in my town,

  • I pumped her gas once and she gave me 35 cents.

  • - And that was enough.

  • - She thought so.

  • (Laughs)

  • - I started siphoning that gas

  • straight back out of that truck.

  • I say, no girl.

  • - Doctor Talbot has decided I need more tranquility.

  • Much more.

  • - So are we to understand that that's like a xanny?

  • - Yes, I'm taking a xanny-bar.

  • My black beauty's kicking in

  • Here I go, Gallop.

  • Gallop.

  • (Laughs)

  • - Why do they only fill these bottles half-full?

  • - Oh, she's stealing them.

  • This time the hallucination doesn't work,

  • it's just me in the corner, nude like this.

  • I'm doing TikTok dancing in the corner.

  • I hope when she read for this role, it was like

  • do you think you could lay down in an Anna Wintour bob

  • and stare at the ceiling for about half the series?

  • (Laughs)

  • - This is a Cardinal.

  • - It's a butt plug.

  • - This is a butt-

  • (Laughs)

  • I don't know what this is.

  • - Oh, I know what this is,

  • this is an obsidian roller.

  • It's great for the skin.

  • It, apparently it's a puzzle.

  • Is it supposed to do that?

  • - You know what the fun thing about