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  • >> Stephen: WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.

    >> スティーブン皆さん、レイトショーへようこそ。

  • I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

    あなたのホスト、ステファン・コルバートです。

  • WELL, JUST WHEN WE ALL THOUGHT 2020 WAS THE WORST 12 MONTHS OF

    WELL, JUST WHEN WE ALL THOUGHT 2020 WAS THE WORST 12 MONTHS OF

  • OUR LIVES, 2021 SAID, "HOLD MY YEAR."

    私たちの生活 2021年は "私の年を守れ "と言われた

  • YOU MIGHT RECALL THAT YESTERDAY, THE OUTGOING PRESIDENT INCITED

    YOU MIGHT RECALL THAT YESTERDAY, THE OUTGOING PRESIDENT INCITED

  • AN INSURRECTION AND UNLEASHED AN ANGRY SEDITIOUS MOB THAT STORMED

    保険事故が発生し、怒りに満ちたセディタリアス・モブが暴れ出しました。

  • THE U.S. CAPITOL IN AN ATTEMPT TO STAGE A VIOLENT COUP.

    暴力的なカップルをステージ化しようとする試みで米国議会議事堂。

  • TO OUR WORRIED FRIENDS AND ALLIES ACROSS THE GLOBE--

    世界中の悲嘆にくれた友人や仲間たちへ--。

  • REST ASSURED, AMERICA KNOWS WE HAVE A PROBLEM, AND ARE SEEKING

    安心してください、アメリカは私たちが問題を抱えていることを知っていて、探しています。

  • TREATMENT.

    TREATMENT.

  • SOON.

    SOON。

  • BUT AS WORRIED AS OUR FRIENDS AND ALLIES MIGHT BE, YOU KNOW

    BUT AS WORRIED AS OUR FRIENDS AND ALLIES MIGHT BE, YOU KNOW

  • WHO SOUNDS MORE WORRIED?

    誰がもっと心配していると思う?

  • THE PRESIDENT.

    THE PRESIDENT.

  • BECAUSE JUST A LITTLE WHILE AGO, MY TAPING TIME, HE RELEASED A

    少し前の私のテーピングタイムに、彼がリリースした

  • VIDEO THAT, CURIOUSLY, CONTAINED NONE OF THE BRAVADO OF YESTERDAY

    VIDEO THAT, CURIOUSLY, CONTAINED NONE OF THE BRAVADO OF YESTERDAY

  • MORNING.

    朝だ

  • NO CRIES OF "STOP THE STEAL," NO CALLS FOR ACTION, NO FOMENTING A

    "盗みを止めろ "の叫びも、行動を求める声も、好意的な発言もありません。

  • MINDLESS MOB AND DECLARATIONS THAT HE WILL NEVER SURRENDER.

    MINDLESS MOB AND DECLARATIONS THAT HE WILL NEVER SURRENDER.

  • ALSO, NO APOLOGY OR ACCEPTANCE OF PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.

    また、個人的責任の謝罪や受け入れもしない。

  • IT DEFINITELY HAS THE FEEL OF SOMEONE THAT HAS BEEN TOLD BY

    それは明らかに誰かに言われたような感覚を持っている

  • THEIR LAWYER, THAT IN 13 DAYS-- OR LESS-- THEY CAN BE CHARGED

    その弁護士は、13日以内に--それ以下で--告訴される可能性があると。

  • WITH INSURRECTION, SEDITION, AND INCITING VIOLENCE.

    暴力を扇動しています。

  • MAYBE HOMICIDE.

    MAYBE HOMICIDE.

  • I DON'T KNOW.

    私は知らない

  • I'M NOT A LAWYER.

    俺は弁護士じゃない

  • I'M A CLOWN.

    I'M A CLOWN.

  • LIKE RUDY.

    ルディのように

  • SO, I'M NOT GOING TO SHOW YOU A WORD OF IT, BECAUSE HE DOESN'T

    だから一字一句お見せするつもりはありませんが、彼はそうではないからです。

  • MEAN A WORD OF IT.

    一言でもいいから

  • A MAN FACING A NOOSE WILL SAY ANYTHING TO SAVE HIS NECK.

    A MAN FACING A NOOSE WILL SAY ANYTHING TO SAVE HIS NECK.

  • OR SAVE HIS SKIN.

    OR SAVE HIS SKIN.

  • IT'S HARD TO TELL.

    話すのは難しい

  • THERE'S A LOT OF SKIN AROUND THAT NECK.

    首の周りに皮膚が多いな

  • ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS HE'S TERRIFIED, AND IF YOU'RE ONE OF

    ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS HE'S TERRIFIED, AND IF YOU'RE ONE OF

  • THE PEOPLE WHO MARCHED UP TO CAPITOL HILL ON HIS ORDERS:

    彼の命令で国会議事堂に行進した人々。

  • YOU GET OUT YOUR FLAG, PUT ON YOUR HAT, AND YOU GIVE IT A

    旗を出して 帽子を被って 帽子をかぶるんだ

  • WATCH.

    WATCH.

  • YOU ALSO MIGHT WANT TO PUT ON A CUP, BECAUSE HE THREW YOU UNDER

    あなたもカップをつけたいと思うわ 彼はあなたを下に投げたから

  • THE BUS THAT'S GOING TO TAKE ALL OF YOU TO JAIL.

    THE BUS THAT'S GOING TO TAKE ALL OF YOU TO JAIL.

  • BECAUSE WHO IS GOING TO DEFEND YOU?

    誰があなたを守るの?

  • OR HIM?

    OR HIM?

  • OR THOSE SENATORS AND CONGRESSMEN FOR WHAT YOU ALL

    OR THOSE SENATORS AND CONGRESSMEN FOR WHAT YOU ALL

  • DID?

    DID?

  • FOR PETE'S SAKE, THE "WALL STREET JOURNAL" EDITORIAL BOARD

    "ウォールストリートジャーナル" 編集委員会

  • JUST CALLED ON THE PRESIDENT TO RESIGN.

    辞任するように大統領に呼びかけただけだ

  • OVER 100 LAWMAKERS ARE CALLING FOR THE PRESIDENT'S REMOVAL.

    100人以上の弁護士が大統領の解任を求めている

  • AND TODAY, NANCY PELOSI THREATENED TO PURSUE IMPEACHMENT

    そして今日ナンシー・ペローシは インピーチメントを訴えると脅した

  • IF THE PRESIDENT'S CABINET DOES NOT REMOVE HIM USING THE 25TH

    IF THE PRESIDENT'S CABINET DOES NOT REMOVE HIM USING THE 25TH

  • AMENDMENT.

    AMENDMENT.

  • THAT IS SOME SERIOUS "ONE OF US HAS TO TAKE AWAY GRANDPA'S CAR

    "誰か一人が祖父の車を取り上げないと

  • KEYS" ENERGY.

    KEYS」ENERGY。

  • AND MAY I REMIND YOU, THIS CAR HAS NUCLEAR MISSILES.

    この車は核ミサイルを搭載しています。

  • FOR THOSE OF YOU READING THE CONSTITUTION WHO HAVEN'T GOTTEN

    憲法を読んでいる人でまだ読んでいない人のために

  • TO THE 25TH AMENDMENT YET-- SPOILER ALERT-- IT ALLOWS THE

    第25条にはまだ... ネタバレ注意報...

  • CABINET TO REMOVE THE PRESIDENT IF THEY DECLARE HE IS UNABLE TO

    議会は、大統領ができないと判断した場合、大統領を解任するためのキャビネット

  • DISCHARGE THE POWERS AND DUTIES OF HIS OFFICE.

    彼の事務所の権限と義務を解除してください。

  • THAT CHECKS OUT.

    THAT CHECKS OUT.

  • ALTHOUGH, I'M PRETTY SURE HE'S DISCHARGED PLENTY OF DUTY IN HIS

    でも、彼は彼の中で多くの義務を放棄していると確信しています。

  • OFFICE.

    OFFICE.

  • BUT AS A PRACTICAL MATTER, THE VICE PRESIDENT HAS TO ORGANIZE

    しかし、実際の問題として、副社長は組織化しなければなりません。

  • THE CABINET FOR A VOTE.

    投票のためのキャビネット。

  • SO, TODAY, SPEAKER PELOSI AND SOON-TO-BE SENATE MAJORITY

    今日はペローシともうすぐ上院の有力者になる

  • LEADER CHUCK SCHUMER CALLED THE VICE PRESIDENT TO TALK ABOUT

    LEADER CHUCK SCHUMER CALLED THE VICE PRESIDENT TO TALK ABOUT

  • THIS URGENT SUBJECT-- BUT WERE LEFT ON A HOLDING LINE

    この緊急の課題は... しかし保留になっている

  • FOR 20 MINUTES WITHOUT MR. PENCE PICKING UP.

    20分間、MRなしでペンス・ピックアップ

  • I BELIEVE WE HAVE THE VICE PRESIDENT'S ANSWERING

    I BELIEVE WE HAVE THE VICE PRESIDENT'S ANSWERING

  • SERVICE.

    SERVICE.

  • >> YOU'VE REACHED THE OFFICE OF MIKE PENCE.

    >> マイク・ペンスの事務所に到着しました

  • IF YOU WANT YOUR SON TO STOP BEING GAY, PRESS ONE.

    IF YOU WANT YOUR SON TO STOP BEING GAY, PRESS ONE.

  • IF YOU WANT YOUR PRESIDENT REMOVED FROM OFFICE, PLEASE

    あなたの大統領を解任したい場合は、お願いします。

  • HOLD, YOUR CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS IS IMPORTANT TO US.

    待て 憲法上の危機は我々にとって重要だ

  • MOTHER, PACK THE BAGS!

    MOTHER, PACK THE BAGS!

  • ( BEEP ) >> Stephen: IN THE PRESIDENT'S

    ( BEEP ) >> Stephen: IN THE PRESIDENT'S

  • VIDEO, HE SAYS THERE WILL BE AN ORDERLY TRANSITION ON

    ビデオでは、彼は命令通りの移行が行われると述べています。

  • JANUARY 20."

    "JANUARY 20"

  • BUT HE'S NOT SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT HE'S GOING TO DO

    でも、彼は自分がしようとしていることについて何も言っていません。

  • BEFORE THEN.

    BEFORE THEN.

  • I'M GUESSING SEND A PALLET OF METH AND MACHETES TO EVERY BASS

    すべてのベースに メスと機械の小袋を送ると思うんだが

  • PRO SHOP IN THE COUNTRY WITH A NOTE SAYING "MAKE ME PROUD!"

    PRO SHOP IN THE COUNTRY WITH A NOTE SAYING "MAKE ME PROUD!"

  • ASIDE FROM HIS FEAR OF REMOVAL OR PROSECUTION, MAYBE BABY JUST

    追い出されることへの恐怖や 罪の意識はさておき

  • WANTS HIS TOY BACK.

    おもちゃを返して欲しいと

  • BECAUSE TWITTER LOCKED THE PRESIDENT'S ACCOUNT AFTER HIS

    BECAUSE TWITTER LOCKED THE PRESIDENT'S ACCOUNT AFTER HIS

  • RIOT ON CAPITOL HILL.

    国会議事堂で暴動

  • GOOD TO KNOW TWITTER IS FINALLY TREATING A VIOLENCE-INCITING

    ツイッターがようやく暴力を誘発するものを処理するようになったことを知ってよかった

  • FASCIST AS HARSHLY AS A TEENAGER WHO USED SEVEN SECONDS OF AN

    FASCIST AS HOSHLY AS A TEENAGER WHO USED SEVEN SECONDS OF AN TEENAGER AS HASHIST

  • IMAGINE DRAGONS SONG.

    IMAGINE DRAGONS SONG.

  • YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID, BRAYDEN.

    自分のしたことを知ってるだろ ブレイデン

  • AFTER THE PRESIDENT CONTINUED TO POST LIES ABOUT THE ELECTION,

    AFTER THE PRESIDENT CONTINUED TO POST LIES ABOUT THE ELECTION,

  • TWITTER ANNOUNCED HIS ACCOUNT WOULD BE LOCKED FOR 12 HOURS.

    TWITTER ANNOUNCED HIS ACCOUNT WOULD BE LOCKED FOR 12 HOURS.

  • WHICH MEANS, LAST NIGHT, THE PRESIDENT HAD THE MOST BORING

    つまり、最後の夜、大統領は最も退屈な時間を過ごしました。

  • POOPS OF HIS LIFE.

    POOPS OF HIS LIFE.

  • OVERALL, IT WAS A TOUGH DAY FOR THE PRESIDENT'S SOCIAL MEDIA

    全体的に、大統領の社会的メディアにとっては大変な一日でした。

  • PRESENCE.

    プレゼンス

  • HE ALSO GOT BLOCKED FROM POSTING TO FACEBOOK AND INSTAGRAM

    彼はまたブロックされました FACEBOOKとインスタグラムへの投稿から

  • INDEFINITELY.

    間違いなく。

  • YOUTUBE PULLED HIS VIDEO ADDRESS TO THE RIOTERS, CITING ELECTION

    選挙を理由に、ユーチューブは彼のビデオアドレスを暴徒に引っ張った。

  • MISINFORMATION, AND AMAZON BANNED HIM FROM ORDERING PIXIE

    誤情報とアマゾンからのピクシーの注文を禁止されました

  • STICKS BECAUSE THEY GET HIM TOO WOUND UP BEFORE BEDTIME.

    STICKS BECAUSE THEY GET HIM TOO WOUND UP BEFORE BEDTIME.

  • WHILE WE ARE ALL HOPING SOMEDAY THE PRESIDENT GETS HIS

    WHILE WE ARE ALL HOPING SOMEDAY THE PRESIDENT GETS HIS

  • COMEUPPANCE.

    COMEUPPANCE.

  • HE SEEMS DETERMINED TO KEEP HIS UPPANCE UN-COMED.

    彼は上向きの姿勢を維持することに 決めているようだ

  • EARLIER TODAY WE LEARNED THE PRESIDENT HAS SUGGESTED TO AIDES

    EARLIER TODAY WE LEARNED THE PRESIDENT HAS SUGGESTED TO AIDES(大統領はエイドに提案した)

  • HE WANTS TO PARDON HIMSELF IN THE FINAL DAYS OF HIS

    HE WANTS TO PARDON HIMSELF IN THE FINAL DAYS OF HIS

  • PRESIDENCY.

    PRESIDENCY.

  • JUST WHAT THE FOUNDING FATHERS INTENDED.

    まさに建国の父祖が意図した通りに。

  • REMINDS ME OF THAT GEORGE WASHINGTON QUOTE, "I CHOPPED

    REMINDS ME OF THAT GEORGE WASHINGTON QUOTE, "I CHOPPED

  • DOWN THAT CHERRY TREE AND GOT AWAY WITH IT, ( BLEEP )!

    チェリーの木を倒して逃げ出した!

  • KISS MY WOODEN BALLS!" BUT HE'S NOT BEING STINGY WITH

    "私の木の玉にキスして!"でも、彼は、それで刺すようなことはしていません。

  • THE GET-OUT-OF-JAIL-FREE CARDS.

    脱獄カード。

  • REPORTEDLY, THE PRESIDENT HAS CONSIDERED A RANGE OF PREEMPTIVE

    REPORTEDLY, THE PRESIDENT HAS CONSIDERED A RANGE OF PREEMPTIVE

  • PARDONS FOR DONALD JR., ERIC, IVANKA, JARED KUSHNER, AND RUDY

    ドナルドJR、エリック、イヴァンカ、ジャレッド・カシュナー、ラディの恩赦。

  • GIULIANI.

    ジュリアーニ

  • NOTHING FOR MELANIA, BUT, OBVIOUSLY, SHE'S ALREADY SERVING

    NOTHING FOR MELANIA, BUT, OBVIOUSLY, SHE'S ALREADY SERVING

  • HARD TIME, THOUGH I'M GUESSING IT WAS PRETTY SOFT.

    ハードタイム、私はそれがかなりソフトだったと推測しています。

  • BUT WHILE THE WRITING SEEMS TO BE ON THE WALL FOR THIS

    BUT WHILE THE WRITING SEEMS TO BE ON THE WALL FOR THIS

  • ADMINISTRATION, NOT EVERYONE IN CONGRESS CAN READ.

    ADMINISTRATION, NOT EVERYONE IN CONGRESS CAN READ.

  • LIKE FLORIDA CONGRESSMAN AND MAN DESPERATELY HOPING FOR A

    LIKE FLORIDA CONGRESSMAN AND MAN DESPERATELY HOPING FOR A

  • "GUYS AND DOLLS" AUDITION, MATT GAETZ.

    "GUYS AND DOLLS" AUDITION, MATT GAETZ.

  • LAST NIGHT ON THE FLOOR OF THE HOUSE, WHICH WAS STILL RIDDLED

    LAST NIGHT ON THE FLOOR OF THE HOUSE, WHICH WAS STILL RIDDLED

  • WITH THE BROKEN GLASS OF THE PRESIDENT'S THUGS, GAETZ FLOATED

    大統領の股下の割れたガラスで、ガエッツは浮いていた。

  • A STORY FROM THE "WASHINGTON TIMES" THAT A FACIAL RECOGNITION

    A STORY FROM THE "WASHINGTON TIMES" THAT A FACIAL RECOGNITION

  • COMPANY HAD SEEN THAT SOME OF THE MOB WAS REALLY ANTIFA!

    会社は群衆の一部が本当に反政府勢力であることを見ていた!

  • THAT'S KIND OF INTERESTING.

    それはちょっと気になるな

  • WHAT'S MORE INTERESTING IS THE FACIAL RECOGNITION COMPANY SAID

    WHAT'S MORE INTERESTING IS THE FACIAL RECOGNITION COMPANY SAID

  • "NO, WE DIDN'T."

    "NO, WE DIDN T."

  • THOUGH THEY DID SAY THEY I.D.'D SOME

    THOUGH THEY DID SAY THEY I.D.'D SOME

  • NEO-NAZIS IN THE CROWD.

    群衆の中のネオ・ナチス。

  • BUT IF YOU'RE GOING TO SELL THE ( BLEEP )-COVERING FANTASY THAT

    でも、もしあなたが(ブリープ)を売るのならば、その(ブリープ)を覆うファンタジーを。

  • THE RIOTERS WEREN'T REALLY THE PRESIDENT'S SUPPORTERS, YOU KNOW

    THE RIOTERS WEREN'T REALLY THE PRESIDENT'S SUPPORTERS, YOU KNOW

  • WHAT WOULD HELP?

    WHAT WOULD HELP?

  • IF THE PRESIDENT'S SUPPORTERS WOULD STOP BRAGGING THAT THEY'RE

    IF THE PRESIDENT'S SUPPORTERS WOULD STOP BRAGGING THAT THEY'RE

  • THE RIOTERS.

    THE RIOTERS.

  • CASE IN POINT, THAT GUY WHO BROKE INTO THE SPEAKER OF THE

    ケース・イン・ポイントは スピーカに侵入した奴だ

  • HOUSE'S OFFICE.

    HOUSE'S OFFICE.

  • HIS NAME IS RICHARD "BIGO" BARNETT, AND HE'S THE LEADER

    彼の名前は リチャード・"BIGO "バーネット 彼がリーダーだ

  • OF A PRO-GUN RIGHTS GROUP IN GRAVETTE, ARKANSAS.

    銃の権利を擁護するグループの

  • HOW DO I KNOW THIS?

    どうやって知ったの?

  • HE IDENTIFIED HIMSELF AS THE INTRUDER TO A "NEW YORK TIMES"

    彼は自分がニューヨーク・タイムズの 潜入者であることを明らかにした

  • REPORTER.

    REPORTER.

  • OUR SOURCE WAS THE "NEW YORK TIMES"!

    OUR SOURCE WAS THE "NEW YORK TIMES"!

  • THAT WAS PRETTY DUMB.

    呆れたな

  • HASN'T HE EVER SEEN THE "TIMES'" MOTTO?

    "タイムズ "を見たことがないのか?MOTTO?

  • "ALL THE NEWS THAT'S ADMISSIBLE IN COURT."

    "ALL THE NEWS THAT'S ADMISSIBLE IN COURT."

  • TIME AND TIME AGAIN, PEOPLE , THESE VIOLENT IDIOTS,

    何度も何度も繰り返します、人々、これらの暴力的な馬鹿。

  • LOOKED RIGHT INTO THE CAMERA, GAVE THEIR CONTACT INFORMATION

    LOOKED RIGHT INTO THE CAMERA, GAVE THEIR CONTACT INFORMATION

  • AND SAID EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE UP TO.

    AND SAID EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE UP TO.

  • >> MA'AM, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

    >> どうしたんですか?

  • >> I GOT MACED.

    >> >> I GOT MACED.

  • >> YOU GOT MACED.

    >> >>お前はMACEDになったんだ。

  • WHAT HAPPENED?

    WHAT HAPPENED?

  • YOU WERE TRYING TO GO INSIDE THE CAPITOL?

    国会議事堂に入ろうとしたのか?

  • >> YEAH, I MADE IT LIKE A FOOT INSIDE AND THEY PUSHED ME OUT

    >> そうそう、足を入れたような感じで作ったら押し出されて出てきたよ。

  • AND THEY MACED ME.

    彼らは私を騙した

  • >> WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

    >> WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

  • WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

    WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

  • >> MY NAME IS ELIZABETH, I'M FROM KNOXVILLE, TENNESSEE.

    >> 私の名前はエリザベス テネシー州ノックスヴィル出身です。

  • >> AND WHY DID YOU WANT TO GO IN?

    >> AND WHY DID YOU WANT TO GO IN?

  • >> WE'RE STORMING THE CAPITOL!

    >> 国会議事堂を襲撃する!

  • IT'S A REVOLUTION.

    IT'S A REVOLUTION.

  • >> STEPHEN: IT'S A REVOLUTION, AND YOU'RE COMPLAINING THAT THEY

    >> STEPHEN: IT'S A REVOLUTION, AND YOU'RE COMPLAINING THAT THEY

  • MACED YOU?

    MACED YOU?

  • IN A REAL REVOLUTION, WHEN YOU LOSE, THEY CHOP YOUR ( BLEEP )

    IN A REAL REVOLUTION, WHEN YOU LOSE, THEY CHOP YOUR ( BLEEP )

  • HEAD OFF!

    HEAD OFF!

  • AND THEN YOUR PIANO SCARF DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WRAP

    そして、あなたのピアノのスカーフは、ラップするものを持っていません。

  • AROUND!

    アラウンド!

  • WOULDN'T THAT BE SAD?

    悲しくないのか?

  • IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, ASK FAILED REVOLUTIONARY... OH,

    信じられないなら、失敗した革命家に聞いてみてください...ああ

  • WAIT, YOU CAN'T, BECAUSE THEY CHOPPED THEIR ( BLEEP ) HEAD

    WAIT, YOU CAN'T, BECAUSE THE CHOPPED THEIR ( BLEEP ) HEAD

  • OFF!

    オフ!

  • AND THAT'S WHERE THEY KEEP THE EARS AND THE MOUTH.

    そこに耳と口があるのよ

  • REALLY POOR PLANNING ON THE WHOLE HEAD THING!

    頭部全体の計画性に欠けている!

  • ONE OF THE PEOPLE POSTING FROM INSIDE THE INSURRECTION WAS

    保険の中から投稿している人のうちの1人が

  • ACTUALLY A NEWLY-ELECTED MEMBER OF THE WEST VIRGINIA HOUSE OF

    西バージニア州議会の新任議員として

  • DELEGATES.

    DELEGATES.

  • DELEGATE DERRICK EVANS STREAMED THIS VIDEO ON SOCIAL MEDIA

    デリック・エヴァンズ代議員がソーシャル・メディアでこのビデオをストリーミング配信しました。

  • YESTERDAY: >> WE'RE IN!

    YESTERDAY: >> WE'RE IN!

  • WE'RE IN!

    入ったぞ!

  • DERRICK EVANS IS IN THE CAPITOL!

    デリック・エヴァンスは国会議事堂にいる!

  • >> STEPHEN: OKAY, IT'S NEVER A GOOD IDEA TO LIVE-STREAM YOUR

    >> STEPHEN: OKAY, IT'S NEVER A GOOD IDEA TO LIVE-STREAM YOUR

  • OWN CRIMES.

    OWN CRIMES.

  • BUT IF YOU DO, YOU GOT TO REMEMBER NOT TO SHOUT YOUR OWN

    BUT IF YOU DO, YOU GOT TO REMEMBER NOT TO SHOUT YOUR OWN

  • NAME.

    名前は?

  • BANK ROBBERS DON'T SAY: "OKAY, PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG,

    銀行強盗は言わない。「よし、バッグに金を入れろ。

  • REAL CALM AND NO ONE GETS HURT.

    穏やかで誰も傷つかない

  • OOH, YEAH!

    うわああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああ

  • ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL HEIST FOR DOUG SULLIVAN OF 310 RIDGEFIELD

    310リッジフィールドの ドゥーグ・サリバンの強盗がまた成功した。

  • ROAD IN MORRISVILLE, ILLINOIS, 11854."

    "ロード イン モリスビル イリノイ州 11854"

  • THOSE GUYS ARE MERELY THE TIP OF THE DOUCHEBERG, WHICH IS WHY THE

    THOSE GUYS ARE MERELY THE TIP OF THE DOUCHEBERG, WHICH IS WHY THE

  • F.B.I. IS ASKING FOR THE PUBLIC'S HELP IDENTIFYING

    FBIは市民の助けを求めています

  • TRUMPISTS WHO STORMED CAPITOL, AND HAS SET UP A WEBSITE FOR

    TRUMPISTS WHO STORMED CAPITOL, AND HAS SET UP A WEBSITE FOR.

  • TIPS.

    TIPS.

  • FBI.GOV/USCAPITOL.

    FBI.GOV/USCAPITOL.

  • AND I'M SURE THEY'RE BEING INUNDATED WITH USEFUL TIPS AS WE

    AND I'M SURE THEY'RE BEING INUNDATED WITH USEFUL TIPS AS WE

  • SPEAK.

    SPEAK.

  • (AS F.B.I. AGENT) "OKAY, GUYS, LISTEN UP.

    みんな 聞いてくれ

  • WE'VE GOT A HOT TIP TO BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR KNOWN RIOTER SEYMOUR

    有名なライオッター・サイモアを探すためのホットなアドバイスがあります。

  • BUTTS.

    バッツ

  • I WANT TO SEYMOUR BUTTS AND HIS ACCOMPLICES, MUNCH MAQUOCHY,

    私は、ボタンと彼の合併症、マンチ・マクオッチにしたい。

  • HARRY BALLS, AND BABA-BOOEY!

    HARRY BALLS, AND BABA-BOOEY!

  • BABA-BOOEY!

    ババブーイ!

  • HOWARD STERN'S PENIS!" LET'S GO GET 'EM!

    HOWARD STERN'S PENIS!" LET'S GO GET 'EM!

  • BUT I'M A PATRIOT AND I'M WILLING TO DO MY PART.

    でも、私は愛国者で、自分の役割を果たすつもりです。

  • SO THIS MORNING, I SCANNED THE PHOTOS FROM THE CAPITOL, AND I

    だから今朝、私はキャピタルからの写真をスキャンし、私は

  • THINK I RECOGNIZE SOME PEOPLE DESTROYING DEMOCRACY.

    民主主義を破壊している一部の人々を再認識すると思います。

  • LIKE THIS GUY.

    この男が好きだ

  • THAT MIGHT BE SENATOR TED CRUZ?

    テッド・クルス上院議員かな?

  • I WANT TO BE FAIR HERE.

    私はここでフェアでありたいと思っています。

  • IT COULD THE BLOATED CORPSE OF A DROWNED WOODCHUCK.

    IT COULD THE BLOATED CORPSE OF A DROWNED WOODCHUCK.

  • AND I'M PRETTY SURE THIS GUY IS MISSOURI

    そして、私はこの男がミスソーリであることを確信しています。

  • SENATOR JOSH HAWLEY.

    ジョシュ・ホーリー上院議員

  • I RECOGNIZE HIM FROM HIS TWITTER HANDLE, PEE WEE HERMANN GOERING.

    彼のツイッターハンドルから 彼を認識します ピー・ウィー・ハーマン・ゴーイング

  • OVER IN THE HOUSE, I THINK THIS IS MINORITY LEADER KEVIN

    家の中では、私はこれが少数派リーダーのケビンだと思います。

  • MCCARTHY, WHO MIGHT BE THE MOST SELF-SERVING, AMORAL PERSON IN

    マッカーシーは、この中で最も自尊心が強く、情緒的な人物であると思われる。

  • THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES, UNLESS HE'S HOME RIGHT NOW.

    THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES, UNLESS HE'S HOME RIGHT NOW.

  • I'M PRETTY SURE THIS IS MEDAL OF FREEDOM RECIPIENT DEVIN NUNES.

    これが自由の女神デビン・ナインズだと確信しています

  • HARD TO RECOGNIZE HIM WITHOUT HIS LIPS ON THE PRESIDENT'S ASS.

    HARD TO RECOGNIZE HIM WITHOUT HIS LIPS ON THE PRESIDENT'S ASS.

  • AND ALSO I THINK I SAW THE GUY WHO'S GETTING THE MEDAL OF

    そして、私はまた、私はメダルを取得している男を見たと思います。

  • FREEDOM NEXT WEEK, OHIO CONGRESSMAN JIM JORDAN.

    FREEDOM NEXT WEEK, OHIO CONGRESSMAN JIM JORDAN.

  • YEAH, THAT IS DEFINITELY HIM, BUT FOLLOWING JORDAN'S EXAMPLE

    それは明らかに彼だが、ジョーダンの例に従う

  • ON SEXUAL ASSAULT OF COLLEGE WRESTLERS, I'M GOING TO PRETEND

    大学のレスラーへの性的暴行について、私はふりをするつもりです。

  • I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING.

    何も見えなかった

  • WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

    WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

  • MY GUEST IS MRS. MAISEL HERSELF, RACHEL BROSNAHAN.

    私のゲストはMRS.MAISEL HERSELF, RACHEL BROSNAHAN.

  • BUT WHEN WE RETURN, "MEANWHILE."

    しかし、私たちが戻ってきたときには、"意味のある距離 "です。

  • STICK AROUND.

    回り込んで

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.

>> スティーブン皆さん、レイトショーへようこそ。

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恐怖の大統領は彼の首を保存するためにバスの下に彼の暴徒を投げる(とTwitterに戻る (A Terrified President Throws His Riot Mob Under A Bus To Save His Neck (And Get Back On Twitter))

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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