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It helps kill bacteria and viruses,
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and it can even be set on fire.
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This is hand sanitizer.
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This gooey substance
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is normally meant for the hands,
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but what if
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we covered our bodies in it?
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Specifically, by jumping into a pool
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full of hand sanitizer?
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Hand sanitizer is made up of a huge list of chemicals,
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from things that make it a gel
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to the moisturizers and lubricants.
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But its main ingredient
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is ethanol.
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This is what kills the germs on your hands.
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In order to be truly effective,
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it should have over 60% ethanol.
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So to kill all the deadly viruses on our bodies,
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let's use something stronger.
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A 95% concentration of ethanol.
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Okay now that we've chosen our hand sanitizer,
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what happens if we jump into a pool full of it?
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As soon as you jump in,
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any cuts or open wounds you might have
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would immediately begin to sting.
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Have you ever had a hangnail on your finger and used hand sanitizer?
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Remember how much that hurt?
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Now imagine the alcohol
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and other chemicals attacking every cut
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or scratch you might have on your body.
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Ouch!
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If you don't have too many of those,
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you'll be able to swim around in our pool full of hand sanitizer.
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But swimming in something like this
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would be more like swimming in jelly than water.
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This gel substance
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would be a gloppy, thick mess to swim through.
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And if you dunked your head into it,
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it would fill your ears,
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nose, and any other crevice it can make its way into.
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And while you're under there,
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don't try opening your eyes.
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If you do,
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you'll immediately feel severe pain from the hand sanitizer.
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And if you don't wash it out immediately,
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you could go blind.
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Yeah, alcohol is not good for the eyes.
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And let's hope you don't swallow any of this stuff.
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If you did, it would taste pretty disgusting,
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like an incredibly harsh alcohol with a strong chemical taste.
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And if you drank enough of it,
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you would be extremely intoxicated.
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That's because a 240 ml (8 oz) bottle of hand sanitizer
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contains the same amount of alcohol as about
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five shots of hard liquor.
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Luckily, swallowing it is avoidable.
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What isn't is the damage these chemicals
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would be doing to your skin while you're in there.
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If you're in this hand sanitizer long enough,
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it could filter through your skin and get into your bloodstream.
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The reason why we can put hand sanitizer
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on our hands is that they have tougher skin than other parts of our body.
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The skin on places like our faces
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and butts is pretty weak and soft.
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So if your entire body was marinating in hand sanitizer,
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it could lead to alcohol poisoning.
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And we know that hand sanitizer's purpose is to kill bacteria.
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But it gets rid of both the bad
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and good germs.
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Having small doses on your hands is OK,
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but spreading it all over your body would kill
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a lot of the good bacteria you have on it.
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This could make you very sick, or even kill you.
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And hopefully, you won't have any smokers standing nearby.
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Because if they happen to drop a match or a lighter into the pool,
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the hand sanitizier would instantly burst into flames,
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and quickly kill you.
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But if you managed to survive all this,
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and made it out of the pool,
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you'd need to shower immediately.
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And after that, your skin would begin to feel tight and dry.
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It would start to crack, and bleed,
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and be incredibly painful.
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Let's hope you have another pool of skin lotion to jump into.
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So it's pretty clear that hand sanitizer is
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only good in small doses, and
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only on our hands.
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Besides, if you really want to kill bacteria,
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just wash your hands.
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Trust me.
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It's a lot safer, cheaper, and healthier.
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And because washing your hands is so good for you,
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why don't we try something really dumb,
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and not wash them for an entire year?
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That's a story for another, WHAT IF.