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  • Some news stories help us understand the world we live in,

  • and some new stories are just stupid.

  • For those, we turn to Ronny Chieng.

  • -♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause)

  • Thanks, Trevor.

  • At this point, I think we can all agree

  • that the Internet is basically giving us all brain damage.

  • Okay? Social media is constantly bombarding us

  • with information we don't care about,

  • like what my friend ate for breakfast

  • or what my mom's watching on TV

  • and when my wife had our baby.

  • (groans) Okay, the point is

  • social media's destroying everything.

  • Just look at this guy who went viral

  • for the dumbest thing possible.

  • NEWSWOMAN: Carson King thought he'd get a few laughs.

  • Just kind of thought it's a joke.

  • NEWSWOMAN: And maybe even a few bucks

  • on ESPN's College GameDay

  • with this sign asking for beer money

  • along with his actual Venmo account.

  • The money started pouring in.

  • I had people from Texas, Idaho,

  • California, Massachusetts.

  • NEWSMAN: All told, King raised more than a million bucks.

  • This guy got a million dollars

  • for beer.

  • Are you kidding me?

  • All he did was hold up a sign.

  • This guy does it on TV, and he's a hero,

  • but when I held up a sign demanding money,

  • all of a sudden, I'm a bank robber,

  • and I took hostages,

  • which is, like, a federal offense.

  • And the fact that this even worked was stupid, Trevor.

  • But not as stupid as what he did with the money.

  • NEWSWOMAN: He decided he'd donate all of it

  • minus the cost of one case of beer

  • to the University of Iowa Children's Hospital.

  • It overlooks the Hawkeyes football field,

  • where home games fans turn and wave to the kids.

  • Hearing the news, Venmo and Busch Beer

  • both vowed to match the growing funds.

  • Wow, he gave all that money to a children's hospital.

  • What an incredible insult to all the hardworking Americans

  • who thought it was for beer.

  • (laughter and applause)

  • Yo, at least he bought,

  • like, one case of beer, okay?

  • Although now there's just gonna be some kid

  • who's $12 short of a new kidney, right?

  • "Oh, sorry, Timmy, we ran out of money.

  • "But we did put this empty can of Bud Light inside of you.

  • Let's just see what happens."

  • And if you think this story couldn't get any stupider,

  • remember, on the Internet,

  • no good deed goes unpunished.

  • NEWSWOMAN: The Des Moines Register profiled King,

  • and the reporter dug up

  • a couple of offensive, racist tweets

  • from when King was 16 and sharing jokes

  • from the Comedy Central show Tosh.0.

  • It was brought to my attention

  • by a reporter for The Des Moines Register,

  • and, uh, once he pointed it out,

  • I was really upset with myself.

  • Well, what a plot twist.

  • The guy who raised over $2 million for sick kids

  • also tweeted offensive jokes ten years ago.

  • So is he a good person, or is he a bad person?

  • I haven't been this confused about how to feel

  • since I got a boner for my great-grandma's yearbook photo.

  • But at least there's a clear lesson here:

  • never donate money you get for beer

  • to a children's hospital, okay?

  • Because you only become famous if you donate the money.

  • If you keep the money, no one cares, and you're rich.

  • And if you think this story doesn't get any stupider,

  • then you are as wrong

  • as the feelings I have for my great-grandmother, okay,

  • because get this.

  • After a reporter exposed this guy's old tweets,

  • the reporter himself got his own 15 minutes of shame.

  • NEWSMAN: Internet users angry about the paper

  • digging up old tweets did some digging of their own,

  • this time on reporter Aaron Calvin.

  • And lo and behold,

  • they uncovered derogatory tweets

  • about African Americans, gay people and women.

  • The Des Moines Register then fired Calvin, saying,

  • (reading):

  • -(cheering and applause) -Oh! That's right.

  • The reporter who found the racist tweets

  • had even worse racist tweets.

  • It's a classic case of the pot calling the kettle the N-word,

  • which is why I always say

  • don't point fingers on the Internet,

  • because the Internet will finger you right back.

  • So, there you have it.

  • The guy who raised the money is canceled.

  • The reporter is canceled.

  • I think the beer got canceled.

  • And everything continues to be stupid.

  • Yes, but I-I think it is still a happy ending here, Ronny,

  • because at least the sick kids are gonna get that money.

  • Well, actually, Trevor,

  • I dug out some of these kids' tweets,

  • -and, oh, man. -Oh, no! Don't even do it!

  • Ronny Chieng, everybody!

Some news stories help us understand the world we live in,

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すべては愚かなのです|ザ・デイリーショー (Everything is Stupid | The Daily Show)

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    VM3 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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