字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント Some news stories help us understand the world we live in, and some new stories are just stupid. For those, we turn to Ronny Chieng. -♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause) Thanks, Trevor. At this point, I think we can all agree that the Internet is basically giving us all brain damage. Okay? Social media is constantly bombarding us with information we don't care about, like what my friend ate for breakfast or what my mom's watching on TV and when my wife had our baby. (groans) Okay, the point is social media's destroying everything. Just look at this guy who went viral for the dumbest thing possible. NEWSWOMAN: Carson King thought he'd get a few laughs. Just kind of thought it's a joke. NEWSWOMAN: And maybe even a few bucks on ESPN's College GameDay with this sign asking for beer money along with his actual Venmo account. The money started pouring in. I had people from Texas, Idaho, California, Massachusetts. NEWSMAN: All told, King raised more than a million bucks. This guy got a million dollars for beer. Are you kidding me? All he did was hold up a sign. This guy does it on TV, and he's a hero, but when I held up a sign demanding money, all of a sudden, I'm a bank robber, and I took hostages, which is, like, a federal offense. And the fact that this even worked was stupid, Trevor. But not as stupid as what he did with the money. NEWSWOMAN: He decided he'd donate all of it minus the cost of one case of beer to the University of Iowa Children's Hospital. It overlooks the Hawkeyes football field, where home games fans turn and wave to the kids. Hearing the news, Venmo and Busch Beer both vowed to match the growing funds. Wow, he gave all that money to a children's hospital. What an incredible insult to all the hardworking Americans who thought it was for beer. (laughter and applause) Yo, at least he bought, like, one case of beer, okay? Although now there's just gonna be some kid who's $12 short of a new kidney, right? "Oh, sorry, Timmy, we ran out of money. "But we did put this empty can of Bud Light inside of you. Let's just see what happens." And if you think this story couldn't get any stupider, remember, on the Internet, no good deed goes unpunished. NEWSWOMAN: The Des Moines Register profiled King, and the reporter dug up a couple of offensive, racist tweets from when King was 16 and sharing jokes from the Comedy Central show Tosh.0. It was brought to my attention by a reporter for The Des Moines Register, and, uh, once he pointed it out, I was really upset with myself. Well, what a plot twist. The guy who raised over $2 million for sick kids also tweeted offensive jokes ten years ago. So is he a good person, or is he a bad person? I haven't been this confused about how to feel since I got a boner for my great-grandma's yearbook photo. But at least there's a clear lesson here: never donate money you get for beer to a children's hospital, okay? Because you only become famous if you donate the money. If you keep the money, no one cares, and you're rich. And if you think this story doesn't get any stupider, then you are as wrong as the feelings I have for my great-grandmother, okay, because get this. After a reporter exposed this guy's old tweets, the reporter himself got his own 15 minutes of shame. NEWSMAN: Internet users angry about the paper digging up old tweets did some digging of their own, this time on reporter Aaron Calvin. And lo and behold, they uncovered derogatory tweets about African Americans, gay people and women. The Des Moines Register then fired Calvin, saying, (reading): -(cheering and applause) -Oh! That's right. The reporter who found the racist tweets had even worse racist tweets. It's a classic case of the pot calling the kettle the N-word, which is why I always say don't point fingers on the Internet, because the Internet will finger you right back. So, there you have it. The guy who raised the money is canceled. The reporter is canceled. I think the beer got canceled. And everything continues to be stupid. Yes, but I-I think it is still a happy ending here, Ronny, because at least the sick kids are gonna get that money. Well, actually, Trevor, I dug out some of these kids' tweets, -and, oh, man. -Oh, no! Don't even do it! Ronny Chieng, everybody!