字幕表 動画を再生する
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- Na, man, but I love religion.
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I love watching religion,
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studying religion.
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The cool thing about religion is, like,
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no matter who you pray to,
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no matter what you study.
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Every religion follows one basic premise.
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One basic idea.
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That every religion follows.
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And that premise is God doesn't make mistakes.
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Every religion believes that, everybody.
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God,
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does not make,
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(audience laughing)
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mistakes.
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I said, God,
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does not make.
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(audience laughing)
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Mistakes.
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Okay, God don't make no mistakes?
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That's, okay,
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that's pretty ambitious thing to say.
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No mistakes?
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You ever read the Bible?
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What does the Bible say happened on the seventh day?
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God rested.
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Okay, seems odd that a perfect being would rest.
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(audience laughing)
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Let me ask you a question.
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Have you ever been performing a task,
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it was going perfect
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and you took a rest?
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(audience laughing)
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Has that ever happened in your life?
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No!
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That has never fucking happened to you.
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But what's happened to you was,
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you were performing a task,
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you fucked up
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(audience laughing)
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and you though let me rest before I fuck this up some more.
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(audience applauding)
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God doesn't make mistakes.
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Hush your mouth.
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God make plenty of mistakes.
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You ever see a porcupine?
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(audience laughing)
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Can't eat it, can't hug it.
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It's ugly, it's sticky,
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it's shitting all over the place.
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Mistake.
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(audience laughing)
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What about quicksand?
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Sand you can drown in.
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You can drown dry.
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(audience laughing)
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You think God meant to make quicksand?
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Mistake.
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(audience laughing)
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You ever been to Mississippi?
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(audience laughing)
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(audience applauding)
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Mistake.
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M-I-S-S-T-A-K-E.
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(audience applauding)
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Are you kidding me?
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Just a big hunk of racist dirt.
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Fucking Mississippi.
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I was there a couple of months ago.
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I couldn't even tell what year it was.
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(audience laughing)
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That's how fucked up and ghetto that shit was.
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Like, God damn!
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You know what Mississippi's like?
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You know, like, when you go to the Caribbean,
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you know, like, when you go to Caribbean,
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you land and you get in that van.
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That drive,
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that scary-ass drive from the airport to
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the the resort.
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And you're looking out the window,
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you're like what the fuck?
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(audience applauding)
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What the fuck is that shit?
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Oh my God.
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Whoa!
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You see little kids eating dreadlocks.
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(audience laughing)
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You see Shabba Ranks stabbing a dog.
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Shabba, Shabba,
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Shabba, Shabba.
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(audience laughing)
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People looking like they've never saw a car before.
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(audience laughing)
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Wheel, wheel.
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And then you get to the resort
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and you're like Jamaica's nice.
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(audience laughing) (audience applauding)
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It's so nice,
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we should invite your mother.
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(audience laughing)
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(laughing)
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They give you one pina colada
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and you forgive the worst poverty you've ever seen.
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(audience laughing)
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(laughing)
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You take one sip and you're like,
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that baby wasn't really dead, right?
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(audience laughing)
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I can't wait to jet ski.
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(bouncy music)