Placeholder Image

字幕表 動画を再生する

  • - Tell him. Tell him. - Oh, just please tell him.

  • - Tell me what? - Look at you.

  • - 'You won't even look at him.' - Oh, come on tell me.

  • I could use another reason why women won't look at me.

  • 'Alright, alright, alright.'

  • Last night...I had a dream that, um..

  • ...you and I..

  • ...were, uh, doing it on this table.

  • - Wow! - Excellent dream score.

  • Why-and-why..

  • [chuckling] Why would you dream that?

  • (Chandler) 'More importantly..'

  • ...was I any good?

  • Well, you're pretty damn any good.

  • Interesting, cause in my dreams I'm surprisingly inadequate.

  • Well, last night you seemed

  • to know you're way around the table.

  • I love it when we share.

  • - You okay there? - I can't believe!

  • You two had sex in her dream.

  • I'm-I'm sorry, it was a one time thing.

  • I was very drunk

  • and it was someone else's subconscious.

  • I am telling you years from now

  • school children will study it

  • as one of the greatest first dates of all time.

  • It was unbelievable. We could totally be ourselves.

  • We didn't have to play any games.

  • - So have you called her yet? - Let her know I like her?

  • What are you insane?

  • Oh, guys.

  • It's the next day.

  • How needy do I wanna seem?

  • I'm right, right?

  • - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, let her dangle.

  • Oh.

  • I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me

  • to find one of you people.

  • God, come on, just do it.

  • Call her. Stop being so testosteroney.

  • Which, by the way is the real San Francisco treat.

  • - I got her machine. - Her answering machine?

  • No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up.

  • [groans]

  • - Boy, do I feel bad. - Oh, yeah.

  • - Very bad. - Chandler, what are you doing?

  • Chandler!

  • Oh, my God!

  • You're smoking again?

  • Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again.

  • Today, I'm, I'm smoking still.

  • Why would you start again after chewing all that quitting gum?

  • Look, I'm telling you, this is just like my parents' divorce

  • which is when I started smoking in the first place.

  • Weren't you nine?

  • Yeah.

  • I'm telling you something that first smoke after naptime..

  • [knock on door]

  • Oh, that's great. With my luck, that's gonna be him.

  • - Him? Him, Ross? - No. Hymn 253.

  • "His eyes are on the sparrow."

  • When my parents got divorced is when I started using

  • humor as a defense mechanism.

  • Hey, anybody know a good tailor?

  • You need some clothes altered?

  • No, no, I'm just looking for a man

  • to draw on me with chalk.

  • Why don't you go see Frankie?

  • My family's been going to him forever.

  • He did my first suit when I was 15.

  • No, wait. 16.

  • No. Excuse me. 15.

  • Alright, when was 1990?

  • Okay, you have to stop the q-tip

  • when there's resistance.

  • Ahh..

  • What are we going to do? What are we going to do?

  • Uh...uh..

  • We'll flip for it, ducks or clowns.

  • Oh, we're going to flip for the baby?

  • You got a better idea?

  • Alright. Call it in the air.

  • Alright.

  • Heads.

  • - Heads it is. - Yes!

  • Phew!

  • We have to assign heads to something!

  • Oh...right!

  • Okay. Okay, uh..

  • Ducks is heads because ducks have heads.

  • What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?

  • 'There she is.'

  • Some girl ate Monica.

  • Shut up. The camera adds ten pounds.

  • Uh, so, how many cameras are actually on you?

  • - Can you hear anything? - Oh, yeah.

  • Somebody just said, "Can you hear anything?"

  • Hey, Joey's ass.

  • What are you doing?

  • Well, remember when they got in that big fight

  • and broke up and we were all stuck in here

  • all night with no food or anything?

  • Well, when Ross said "Rachel" at the wedding

  • I figured it was gonna happen again, you know?

  • So I hid this in here.

  • Ooh. Candy bars, crossword puzzles.

  • Ooh, Mad Libs. Mine!

  • Condoms?

  • Hey, you don't know how long we're gonna be in here.

  • We may have to repopulate the Earth.

  • And condoms are the way to do that?

  • Come on, Chandler.

  • I want this part so much.

  • Just one kiss. I won't tell anyone.

  • Joey, no means no.

  • - Hey, hi. - Hey.

  • I'm sorry. W-we don't have your sheep.

  • [knock on door]

  • Hi. Guys, guess what? Guess what? Guess what?

  • Okay, the fifth dentist caved

  • and now they're all recommending Trident?

  • So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special?

  • Well, yes, Ross, pressing my third nipple

  • opens the delivery entrance

  • to the magical land of Narnia.

  • You know, in some cultures having a third nipple

  • is actually a sign of virility.

  • You get the best huts

  • and women dance naked around you.

  • Ha, are, uh, any of these cultures

  • perchance in the Tri-state area?

  • Whoa, whoa, whoa, Australopithecus

  • isn't supposed to be in that display.

  • No. No.

  • No. No. Homo habilis was erect.

  • Australopithecus was never fully erect.

  • Well, maybe he was nervous.

  • [instrumental music]

  • Okay, sorry to break up this party

  • but, I've got resumes to fax before lunch tomorrow.

  • Rach, Rach, we gotta settle.

  • Settle what?

  • The Jamestown colony of Virginia.

  • You see King George is giving us the land, so..

  • The game, Rachel. The game.

  • You owe us money for the game.

  • So basically, you get your ya-yas

  • by taking money from all of your friends.

  • Yeah.

  • Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea.

  • You have to put them together yourself

  • but they cost a little less.

  • How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth

  • and licking you all over?

  • Because I went to an all-boys high school

  • and God is making up for it?

  • - This is my favorite part. - Yeah, me too.

  • Oh, you know what's sadder than this? "Bambi."

  • I cried for three days with that movie. No, wait, two.

  • 'Cause on the third day, my mother killed herself

  • so I was partly crying for that.

  • Well, see, now, that I can see crying over

  • but "Bambi" is a cartoon.

  • You didn't cry when "Bambi's" mother died?

  • Yes, it was very sad when the guy stopped

  • drawing the deer.

  • You know, Chandler, there's nothing wrong with crying.

  • [instrumental music]

  • (Chandler) Hold on.

  • There's something different.

  • I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.

  • Was that place, the sun?

  • Oh. And it gets worse.

  • Oh, my God, you can do a duet

  • of "Ebony and Ivory" all by yourself.

  • Ross didn't get the annulment. We are still married.

  • - What? - Oh, my God!

  • Ross?

  • Okay, maybe it wasn't my best decision

  • but I just couldn't face another failed marriage.

  • Okay, lemme just jump in and ask.

  • At what point did you think this was a successful marriage?

  • I'm so gonna get back at Ross.

  • Oh, yeah, this will show him.

  • - Here we go. - What are you doing?

  • Oh, you'll see, my friend!

  • I'm dead?

  • And so young.

  • Posting that I died?

  • That really isn't funny!

  • Well, how you died was funny.

  • Oh, please! Hit by a blimp?

  • It kills over one Americans

  • every year!

  • [instrumental music]

  • Thank you, guys, for havin' us over.

  • Oh, yeah, this is fun couples night.

  • Ye-yeah, I don't know why we don't hang out

  • with married couples more often.

  • Well, because every time we do

  • you make jokes about swinging and scare them away.

  • You mean that Portuguese couple?

  • Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it.

  • Hey, you guys, I've great news.

  • Ross, we're kinda in the middle of dinner here.

  • Oh, well, uh, I already ate, but sure.

  • Guess what happened at work today.

  • A dinosaur died a million years ago?

  • Uh, try 65 million years ago

  • and then try shh!

  • Ahem.

  • So I thought Joey and I would be okay once we hung out.

  • But it's like we don't even know

  • how to be with each other anymore.

  • I know it's tough now, but things will get better.

  • How do you know that?

  • What if it just gets worse, and worse, and worse

  • to the point where we can't even be in the same room

  • with each other?

  • I'm not great at the advice.

  • Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

  • Some cheese?

  • Okay.

  • Maybe people give out fake numbers

  • but they don't give out fake names.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • Hi. Ken Adams. Nice to meet ya.

  • Regina Philange.

  • I still don't get it. We didn't do anything wrong.

  • (Monica) I know.

  • Although, you did tell an awful lot of jokes.

  • I thought you said those jokes were funny. Joke! Joke! Joke!

  • Joke. Joke. Blah! Blah!

  • Well, maybe it was all of your questions.

  • What about my questions?

  • The sheer volume. It was like flying with the Riddler!

  • Oh, I'm sorry. Was that another joke?

  • Was that another question?

  • Hey! I got you a present!

  • Oh, my goodness! Where did you hide it?

  • I got it for your wedding and I ordered it

  • weeks ago and it finally got here.

  • Pheebs, you didn't have to get us anything for our wedding.

  • - You already did so-- - I love it! It's huge!

  • Let's open it! Open it!

  • [paper rustling]

  • - It's a Ms. Pac-Man machine! - Oh, my God!

  • I didn't know where to put it so I just left it here for now.

  • Oh, well, maybe we can put it in the guest bedroom.

  • Yeah, okay.

  • I kind of like it here.

  • - Hey, you look great. - Hey.

  • I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know.

  • I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them.

  • Okay, what did we say was your one gift to us?

  • No stupid jokes, but..

  • ...I thought that was for the actual wedding.

  • Rehearse it.