字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント -I'm very excited about this. "IT Chapter 2" comes out this weekend. [ Cheers and applause ] When they heard that, actual clowns were like, "Oh, come on. I was just starting to get work again. I mean, come on." [ Laughter ] Let's get to some news here. I read that President Trump promised that if he's re-elected, he'll build 500 miles of border wall. Yep, and if he's not re-elected, he'll just draw a wall with a Sharpie. [ Laughter ] But this is odd. [ Laughter continues ] "I didn't do it. That's the way the wall was." [ Laughter ] But this is odd right here. The Trump administration just announced that they're rolling back efficiency standards for light bulbs. It was a confusing day at the White House, 'cause every time Trump said "dim bulbs," Eric and Don Jr. busted in and said, "You rang?" [ Laughter ] "Lock the doors, please." [ Laughter ] Guys, I don't know if you've noticed this but President Trump can have trouble pronouncing words sometimes. For example, here he is trying to say the word "inconvenience." Take a look at this. -Couldn't have been more calm. I then respectfully said, "Sorry to incon-vens-- convenience you," and I left the room. [ Laughter ] -Well, he's actually struggled with a few other words recently, so with that in mind, it's time to play "Talk Like Trump." Here we go. [ Cheers and applause ] -♪ Talk like Trump ♪ ♪ Talk like Trump ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ -So... [ Cheers and applause ] Yeah, you guys look good. Oh, yeah. [ Cheers and applause continues ] Here's how this works. I'm gonna see if anyone can guess how the President is going to mispronounce a simple word. If you get it right, you get a prize. If you get it wrong, you still get a prize. All right. [ Laughter ] Raise your hand if you want to play "Talk like Trump." It's really fun. [ Cheering ] Here we go. Sure, right here. I don't have to walk far. Stand up, sure. Oh, sit down, maybe. [ Laughter ] All right. Hi. What's your name? -Keno. -Keno? -Yeah. -Wow. That's a great name. -Yeah. -I lost a lot of money on you. [ Laughter ] Keno, where are you from? -I'm from Brooklyn. -All right, cool. I was gonna say Vegas. In our first clip, President Trump is gonna try and say the word "heritage." How do you think he's gonna mispronounce "heritage"? -Her-i-tawge? [ Laughter ] -That's pretty good. "Her-i-tawge." [ Laughter ] That's pretty good. Let's see what happened. -And we are reclaiming our noble "herrige" as a nation. -Ah! [ Buzzer ] "Herrige" -- so close. So close. You lost, but here's your losing T-shirt. A custom-made "herrige." That's for you. -Thank you. -Thank you, Keno. Appreciate it. Who else? Who else wants to play? Get up. [ Cheers and applause ] How you doing? -Good. I'm great. -What is your name? -My name's Maya. -Maya, very good. Maya, where are you from? -I'm from Northern Virginia. -Hey, well, thank you for being here, Maya. [ Cheers and applause ] Maya, our next clip, very simple. Trump tries to say the word "lawmakers." How is he going to mispronounce the word "lawmakers"? -Law-mack? [ Laughter ] -"Law-mac." [ Laughter ] I can see that one. I can see that one happening. All right. Let's see what happened. -He has worked in both houses of Congress, advising "law-markers." -Ah! [ Buzzer ] "Law-markers." It's close. Here's your losing "law-markers" T-shirt. -Thank you. -Thank you for playing. I appreciate it. Anyone else? Who's up? You? I don't know how to get to you. [ Cheers and applause ] You, yeah, right there. Yeah, come over here. This guy just... This guy just looks interesting to me. Hey, nice to see you. -Nice to see you, too. [ Laughter ] -What is your name? -My name's Matt. -Hey, Matt, welcome. Where you from? -I'm from the Bronx. Hey, all right! Boogie down, Bronx. Now, in this final clip, Trump tries to say "transplants." "Transplants." -Turnsplints? [ Laughter ] -Turnsplints? -Turnsplinsts. -Turnsplints. You're not saying any vowels at all. [ Laughter ] -No. -Trnsplnts. -Trnsplnts. -You're actually saying it through your nose. -[ Muffled speaking ] -Yeah. [ Muffled speaking ] -In addition, up to 11,000 more Americans could receive heart, lung, and liver transpants annually. -Ah! [ Buzzer ] -"Transpants." Ah, sorry. Thank you for playing. I appreciate. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. [ Cheers and applause ] That was "Talk like Trump." Thanks to our players. Let's get right back to the monologue right here. -♪ Talk like Trump ♪ ♪ Talk like Trump ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ -Some 2020 news. The third Democratic presidential debate is in less than a week, and this time, all the candidates can fit on one stage. [ Laughter ] We'll hear from the 10 candidates up there, plus Bill de Blasio shouting from the audience. [ Laughter ] I saw that this debate will be on ABC, which is nice because the winners will get a boost in the polls while the losers will get a spot on "Dancing With the Stars." -Oh. -That's pretty cool. [ Laughter, cheers, applause ] Some tech news. Google is being fined $170 million for violating children's privacy. Pretty messed up. Not only did they collect kids' data, they also told Becky that Greg liked her but didn't "like her" like her. [ Laughter ] And finally, Yellowstone's Steamboat Geyser had a record number of premature eruptions this year. Today, park rangers walked up to it and said, "Don't worry. This happens to lots of geysers." [ Laughter ] We have a great show.