字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント -You guys, it's officially the last weekend of summer. [ Audience groans ] So if you never got that beach bod, good news, you have another nine months. -Oh. [ Laughter ] -That's right, summer's just about over. And you can tell fall is here, 'cause White Claw just started selling pumpkin spice seltzer. [ Laughter and applause ] The weekend is finally here. A ton of big movies are out today Like "Rambo: Last Blood." [ Cheers and applause ] Rambo's been around for 40 years. I'm not saying Rambo's getting old, but when first blood is drawn, it's the nurse checking his diabetes. [ Laughter ] You may be wondering why I didn't tell that joke last night when Sylvester Stallone was here. and the answer is simple -- I was scared. [ Laughter ] Also, the new Brad Pitt movie "Ad Astra" is also out today. [ Cheers and applause ] There's a really crazy scene where Brad looks out of his spaceship and sees George Clooney still floating around. [ Laughter ] Let's get to some news tonight. President Trump held a formal state dinner at the White House for the prime minister of Australia. But I think Trump was confused. I think Trump was confused because he kept asking the prime minister, [ As Trump ] "So which Hemsworth brother are you?" [ Laughter ] I'm a Liam guy myself. [ Normal voice ] I saw that one of the guests at dinner was the CEO of the company that owns KFC, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut. It was awkward when Trump saluted him and not the prime minister. [ Laughter ] [ As Trump ] This man is a colonel. Show some respect. [ Normal voice ] Some business news. I saw that Amazon is buying 100,000 electric delivery trucks. Amazon said, yeah, it's really going to help the environment while they deliver 100 million boxes made from trees. [ Laughter and applause ] I saw that Lay's potato chips are redesigning their bags for the first time in 12 years. Yep, now they'll be able to hold fewer chips and even more air than ever before. [ Laughter and applause ] -That must -- that must chip. -This isn't good. Everyone's fine, but a woman in Nebraska caused an apartment fire after she tried to burn love letters from her ex-boyfriend. [ Laughter ] Thankfully it all worked out, cause now she's dating a fireman. [ Laughter ] Jealous, Todd? And finally this is crazy -- I saw that a man in Spain caught a 230-pound catfish. Check this out. [ Audience "ohhs" ] Although the man was disappointed 'cause the catfish looked nothing like its profile picture.