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  • Hey, what's up?

  • It's Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV.

  • The place to be to create a business and life you love.

  • This is the MarieTV Call-In Show where we take live calls and try and help some people

  • out.

  • This is Gregory Patterson.

  • Well, howdy doody?

  • Always the one who's making me look fabulous with the hair and I just love him.

  • We just have a good time together.

  • So, let's do this.

  • Hello?

  • Roxanne?

  • Yes?

  • It's Marie Forleo and you are on the MarieTV Call-In Show.

  • Oh my gosh.

  • Really?

  • Yes.

  • You're on.

  • There's Team Forleo here.

  • Gregory is here.

  • Hello.

  • We are so excited to connect with you.

  • Tell us your question and we will do our very best to help you out.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • My goodness gracious.

  • Thank you so much for calling me and I just love you.

  • Absolutely love you.

  • I discovered you not too long ago.

  • I am wanting to understand how to present myself.

  • I want to understand how to present myself with vulnerability.

  • Show my vulnerability and still show that I'm capable of helping people guiding and

  • coaching.

  • Great.

  • Tell me more.

  • I'm coming from a past with trauma.

  • I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

  • I use art forms as my primary form of recovery practice.

  • I would love to share with other people how to recover their creative self whether they

  • think of themselves as artists or not because I think that creativity is very healing.

  • So I've always been a very private person and I was never sure how much to divulge and

  • how to present myself.

  • I'm kind of on the line of I feel like if I don't share, then I just really won't connect

  • with people.

  • I agree.

  • First of all, I'm so happy that you're sharing this question.

  • I know that we have tens of thousands and in the world there are millions of people

  • who also have PTSD or battle against anxiety or depression or any range and number of issues

  • that in the past has had some stigma with it.

  • As you said, those days are over.

  • So many of us need to share honestly and bravely about the things that we struggle with and

  • personally, Roxanne, I think that people who share about what they've been through, and

  • frankly what they're still going through and what they're battling against, those are the

  • people that we trust the most.

  • In this world of coaching and personally development and experts, I think the old model was all

  • about some sage on the stage that's always how I like to characterize it where someone

  • was standing up there and pretending like they have all the answers and they never make

  • any mistakes.

  • They're gonna bestow upon you this wisdom and guide you to the promised land.

  • First of all, I think all of that is bullshit.

  • I think it's so in authentic.

  • It is not true.

  • Every single one of us is a work in progress.

  • We are all learning.

  • We're all trying our best.

  • We will all face challenges.

  • Not only the ones that we had in our past, but there's ones coming up in the future.

  • I always like to describe myself never as a sage on the stage and always as a guide

  • on the side.

  • What does that mean?

  • That means I'm someone who is really enthusiastic first of all about learning, second of all

  • about using ideas for myself to see what works and what doesn't.

  • Then third, with sharing those ideas, the things I think are valuable with folks who

  • might also be interested and might also want to try these things.

  • I think for you, making that internal shift like, you know what?

  • Roxanne, you're a guide on the side and you have every right to share things.

  • Not like you're better than or less.

  • I know that's not the total crux of your question.

  • We'll get to the sharing and the vulnerability in minute.

  • But I like that framework because it allows me to then pour myself into a positioning

  • where I'm not better, I'm not less, and I can look at what to share that is relevant

  • for my audience.

  • I think this word relevance will be really important for you as you move ahead.

  • Know that sharing about your PTSD and the details that surround it, how much you share

  • is completely up to you.

  • You can start off dipping your toe in the water telling one or two stories.

  • Have your comfort level expand.

  • Then as you continue to engage with your audience, you'll know and you'll feel where you may

  • want to keep some details private just because that feels authentic to you and other places

  • where you're like, you know what?

  • I really do need to share this because all of these other folks in my audience have battled

  • something similar and it'll help them know they're not alone.

  • Yes.

  • And I really love the fact that you talk about sharing stories as opposed to sharing diagnoses

  • for example.

  • Saying, oh PTSD.

  • I think it's more authentic to talk about what it is and what the experience of it is

  • as opposed to just the name of it.

  • That's right.

  • One way that you can frame it is you can say, hey all of us have had challenging things

  • that we've battled in our past.

  • All of us have had things that we've experienced before that may be holding us back now and

  • we're not quite sure how to move through them.

  • For me, I can tell you a story about this or I can tell you a story about this time

  • when I was 15 or when I was 11.

  • How that manifests for me now is x, y, and z.

  • I want to take you on this journey moving forward so we can both learn, so we can all

  • support each other.

  • So I can share with you some of the tools and the understandings and the strategies

  • that not only have helped me, but that have continued and do continue to help me.

  • We can learn as we move forward together.

  • Can you see how with that type of framing, you're allowing yourself to be vulnerable

  • but you're also still communicating that you're capable?

  • Yes.

  • Yes.

  • Absolutely.

  • Absolutely.

  • This helpful?

  • Tremendously helpful.

  • It's very affirming.

  • I think I was there in my mind and I think there was a fear of just dipping that toe

  • in the water and moving forward.

  • Once I make the decision, I'm ready to go.

  • Yes, Roxanne.

  • That's what we like to hear.

  • Just know this is a process for all of us.

  • I think we're living in such a new time that can be filled with some conflicts about how

  • much do we share about ourselves.

  • This online space and the span of human history.

  • Having these tools available to us where we can share everything and people can comment

  • and people can get upset.

  • A lot of people are very brave with their anonymity behind a keyboard.

  • They say things they would never say to you in person.

  • I think it's natural to feel some of that trepidation.

  • It's natural to have some of those inner conflicts with how much do I share.

  • But when you're committed to not only a message but to transforming other people's lives and

  • having them feel safe around you and letting them know that they're not alone, it becomes

  • a lot easier.

  • We take that light and rather than shining it on ourselves and our fear, we turn it outward

  • to being of service.

  • For me, that has made all the difference.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • Awesome.

  • Yes.

  • Me too.

  • For me too.

  • Awesome.

  • Roxanne, you keep us posted.

  • We're gonna be cheering you on and I can't wait to hear your updates as they come along.

  • Thank you so much.

  • I'm so excited to start this challenge for women.

  • I really adore you Marie.

  • Thank you so much for your help.

  • Have a great rest of the day.

  • You too.

  • We adore you too darling.

  • Good luck with your challenge.

  • Bye.

  • Thank you.

  • Hello?

  • Hi.

  • Is this Esther?

  • Yes, this is Esther.

  • Hey, it's Marie Forleo and you are on the MarieTV Call-In Show.

  • How's it going?

  • Oh my god.

  • This is awesome.

  • Yes, it is awesome.

  • You're here with Team Forleo and Gregory and we are so excited.

  • Tell us your question and we will do our very best to help you out.

  • Sure.

  • My husband and I, we recently started a blog-based business called Wayfinders Now.

  • We are in the process of trying to figure out exactly what our niche should be.

  • Some examples of ones that we have are we live on a 35-foot sailboat.

  • I'm learning about sailing.

  • We're both artists.

  • We've cultivated more flexible work lives.

  • We're caregivers for a loved one with dementia.

  • We're also wanting to incorporate zero waste sustainability practices.

  • I'm also a woman of color.

  • We've got a lot of areas of interest.

  • I guess my main question is, should we narrow down or not necessarily?

  • How can I be more intentional about how we can serve our audience.

  • Absolutely.

  • First of all, Esther I just think it's so incredible.

  • Clearly you are a multi-passionate entrepreneur.

  • Clearly you and your husband, you guys are very creative beings and there are so many

  • of us in the world.

  • I think there's a lot of folks listening right now like, oh my gosh, how did they figure

  • that out?

  • I would like to be on a sailboat.

  • That's amazing.

  • I'm gonna ask you a few questions and we'll see if we can help you find some clarity.

  • First, are you guys making money with this business right now?

  • No.

  • We are not.

  • Then it sounds like you have created your life...

  • And we don't need to get into this.

  • I don't want you divulging anything that you don't feel comfortable with.

  • You've created your life in such a way where you don't necessarily need an income from

  • this new business at this point.

  • Is that correct?

  • That is correct.

  • We're able to be flexible where one of us can hold down the fort, so to speak.

  • About a month and a half ago I've had the liberty to focus solely on this now.

  • Beautiful.

  • For the first time.

  • That's great.

  • That is awesome.

  • Congratulations.

  • We love that.

  • We are cheering that on.

  • What I would encourage you to do is really get clear on what your goals are for this

  • business.

  • Some people start a business and they're like, you know what?

  • It would be amazing if in the next one year or two years, three years, I could reach this

  • hundred thousand dollar in revenue mark.

  • That is a number I'm pulling out of my butt.

  • Some people are higher, some people are lower.

  • When we're talking about a for profit business, putting some type of financial goal in place

  • is really helpful, especially at the stage you're at right now.

  • I'll tell you why.

  • When it is a for profit business, it has to make profit.

  • For you to know how much you would like to make starts to give you something to measure

  • all of your ideas against.

  • You can look at all of these ideas and go, hmmm.

  • Being a caregiver for a loved one with dementia, what are the possibilities to earn revenue

  • in that space?

  • What are the services?

  • What are the products I could offer?

  • What are the price points?

  • How much would I have to work?

  • How much would I have to make all of this work together in order to possibly reach the

  • financial goal that I've set as important to me?

  • Then you measure that against sailing.

  • This is just one framework, just one lens that we're looking through initially because

  • this is not just a simple black and white answer.

  • Esther, you getting clear on your financial reasons for wanting to start this business

  • is one thing I'm gonna encourage you to really look at.

  • Then we're gonna look at the topic areas.

  • Which of the seven, ten, five, three, whatever number that is...

  • When you honestly get real with yourself and you think about devoting five, ten, 15 hours