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  • - Henry, you ready to party?

  • His eyes are gross!

  • I decided to step out of my comfort zone a little bit

  • and let the boys plan Henry's first big day out.

  • We're here!

  • Snack break.

  • Oh yes, he's fascinated.

  • Hi, I'm Hannah, I'm the world's okayest mom

  • and for the past month, we have not left the house.

  • This is because I have

  • (Henry sneezes) oh, sneezes.

  • And I have postpartum anxiety and it's hard for me to leave.

  • But we're gonna let my older brothers plan my big day out,

  • so hopefully it's not too crazy.

  • Okay wish me luck.

  • I should start off by explaining

  • how postpartum anxiety manifests for me,

  • it's different than postpartum depression.

  • Both are very serious and both should be discussed

  • with a doctor because it is more common than you think.

  • So for me, postpartum anxiety,

  • it's a lot of intrusive thoughts.

  • Most of it is germaphobia.

  • It can snowball into something really crippling

  • where I become afraid of interacting with people

  • because they're just walking germs to me.

  • It's not logical.

  • No reason.

  • I think I'm just tired.

  • (sighs)

  • And so I'm actually in therapy for it.

  • I'm not ashamed to say that I am seeking help,

  • I really need it.

  • What I've quickly realized this time around

  • is my postpartum anxiety is not only affecting me,

  • it actually affects my entire family.

  • My older boys wanna go do stuff on the weekends,

  • they want to take Henry places,

  • they want to get out of the house.

  • While the boys understand, I can also tell

  • that they're disappointed

  • that I'm not participating in family stuff.

  • So I decided to step out of my comfort zone a little bit

  • and let the boys plan Henry's first big day out.

  • It's hard to plan a day for a one month old

  • because they don't really do much,

  • so the boys pretty much picked activities

  • that they wanted to do and decided

  • that they would show Henry how to enjoy these activities.

  • The plan was pretty standard for my kids,

  • start the morning off with Starbucks, move on to mini golf,

  • then the park, then pizza and frozen yogurt.

  • It's all the things that my kids love in one day.

  • Henry pretty much, he's got the same cycle.

  • Eat, sleep, poop, eat, sleep, poop,

  • cry, cry, cry, eat, sleep, poop.

  • Okay today is the day of the big outing

  • and I'm gonna be honest, we had pretty much the worst night

  • sleep-wise of all time last night.

  • I'm quiet 'cause I'm trying to get him to nap.

  • One night of bad sleep can completely derail

  • an entire weekend.

  • One noisy man can completely derail an entire nap.

  • Getting shoes on! - Come on, Wyatt.

  • - Are you ready to go Henry?

  • You ready to go?

  • We are on our way to our very first stop, which is what?

  • - Starbucks!

  • - [Hannah] Henry, what will you have?

  • Tall milk? - Steamed milk.

  • - Warm milk?

  • Now again, we are not sponsored by Starbucks,

  • I love Starbucks, I used to work there,

  • I wish they would sponsor me.

  • #starbuckssponsorhannah

  • - I think Henry likes Starbucks.

  • - I think so, he woke up,

  • he smelled the food and he woke up.

  • Henry!

  • Can you smell the food?

  • It was almost like Henry's rite of passage.

  • Once you've gone to Starbucks with our family, you're in.

  • You're in for life. (laughs)

  • Our next stop is mini golf, which I don't really know

  • how well you're gonna play, Henry,

  • but the boys really wanted to go.

  • It's very important that he do this

  • on his first day out they said, so mini golf it is.

  • It had been a hot minute since I'd been mini golfing.

  • I have never been very good at it, but the boys love to go.

  • They've gone with Matt several times

  • and so they were really excited

  • to show me how skilled they are at all of it.

  • Wyatt in particular is very intense about it.

  • - Hey, Jackson, you're cheating!

  • - He, I think, could be a very good golfer at some point

  • because he is so intense.

  • - He can't put it in with his hand!

  • - It's so funny to see tiny humans

  • doing grown up human stuff.

  • Please let me know if you've experienced this,

  • but whenever my kid is seated in the car seat and poops,

  • the poop ends up not in the diaper at all

  • and just immediately goes all up the back.

  • So straight away at the mini golf place, we had a blow out.

  • In true third kid fashion,

  • I just changed him right in his stroller.

  • I don't care.

  • You gotta do what you gotta do

  • when you're out with your baby and you have your older kids.

  • I'm not gonna take him back to the car

  • and lay out a bunch of stuff to change him.

  • Now Matt had a very special job this day,

  • he was my official sanitizer.

  • So I dealt with the mini golf very well, but I know myself

  • and so we came armed with lots of hand sanitizer,

  • wipes and all of that,

  • and so before anybody touched anything,

  • Matt had to fully sanitize every piece of everything

  • in order to keep me comfortable.

  • Which, that's marriage, baby. (laughs)

  • Turns out mini golf is actually the perfect activity for me

  • with my postpartum anxiety

  • because I could control pretty much the whole situation.

  • I could sanitize all of the parts included,

  • it's outdoors so fresh air, and people are taking turns

  • at each hole so it's not super crowded,

  • you're not in close contact with other people.

  • However, before we left,

  • the boys wanted to go to another part of this park

  • that completely sent me over the edge.

  • Don't get me wrong, this arcade was very nice,

  • I'm sure it was very clean,

  • this whole place was really amazing, it's just me.

  • Literally every button on every machine

  • looked like 45 different people's germy hands

  • coated all over everything.

  • I just.

  • We're gonna wait outside while they do that.

  • Yuck.

  • Okay we made a pit stop to change because it's getting cold.

  • I mean cold for LA, but it's a little chilly

  • and we weren't dressed warm enough,

  • and now we're headed to the park.

  • You guys ready for the park?

  • - Oh yeah!

  • - Do you know what a park is?

  • Yes I do!

  • Poor Henry can't talk, so we have to talk for him

  • and everyone pretty much has their own Henry voice.

  • Henry, are you excited?

  • - You know what he said? - What?

  • - I wanna go to the park and play with Jackson.

  • - Oh yeah, Jackson! - Is that what Henry said?

  • I think the appeal of a park with little kids,

  • I mean my kids always wanna go to the park

  • and it's the open space, they can run as fast as they want,

  • there's so much room, there's so much stuff to do

  • like climbing and sliding and tumbling

  • and all of that stuff.

  • - Henry, are you watching?

  • - Yes he is totally watching you guys.

  • Oh yes, he is fascinated.

  • At the park, Henry got very hungry.

  • There's a lot of debate around nursing in public

  • and how you should nurse when your baby is hungry

  • and you're out in a public space,

  • so what I ended up doing was kind of hiding in the corner

  • behind some trees and I nursed Henry under my sweater.

  • Snack break!

  • I tried to be discreet, but it's a part of life.

  • This body part exists to feed humans,

  • it doesn't exist for people to obsess over it.

  • So if you can't differentiate,

  • then maybe you should cover your own face.

  • Boom.

  • Breast feeding, not sexual. (laughs)

  • All right that was some good play time.

  • Did not take Henry out of the stroller

  • because there were so many kids on the playground

  • and I am terrified of germs

  • and I literally heard like 45 sneezes

  • in the time we were there.

  • So he stayed in the stroller,

  • but the boys taught him everything he needs to know

  • about playing and that's all that matters.

  • So the sun is starting to set

  • and it's getting chilly outside

  • so we have a plan B for pizza and frozen yogurt.

  • We had been calling it the three P's,

  • we have the three P's left of the day,

  • park, pizza, pozen yogurt,

  • but now it's gonna be four P's,

  • park, pizza, party, pice cream.

  • And we're gonna have to do it at home

  • because it's getting chilly.

  • Henry, you ready to party?

  • His eyes are gross!

  • We just walked into the house,

  • we're gonna do collective bath time,

  • I'm gonna order the pizza,

  • got a bunch of ice cream sundae stuff.

  • The minute I walked in the door to my house,

  • I just felt overwhelmingly better.

  • It's always good to try new things

  • and I think it was important for me to test my boundaries,

  • but at a certain point, it becomes detrimental

  • and a little too much for me to handle,

  • and so I was really glad

  • that we decided to take the pizza party and ice cream party

  • back to our house.

  • So the boys wanted to show him out to eat pizza

  • and let him smell it, so we'll see if he wakes up

  • and he'll come party with us.

  • The boys got their pizza, we developed a method for Henry

  • to try it which is through wafting the scent over to him,

  • so we wafted some pizza smell over to Henry.

  • Everyone just had a great time,

  • we got our ice cream sundaes.

  • I have dried strawberries, chocolate sauce and marshmallows

  • for toppings, three kinds of ice cream and for Henry--

  • - Some milk. - Some milk.

  • And I let the kids serve themselves

  • because I was holding Henry and so they took full advantage

  • and scooped like 5,000 scoops into their bowls,

  • but that's okay it was their day.

  • Well, don't mind if I do.

  • Adding a baby to the family really changes the dynamic

  • and in those early stages, my time is super monopolized.

  • I am with the baby pretty much all the time

  • because I am his food source and he needs constant care.

  • And so it's really important to involve the older kids

  • in a way that is fun for them

  • and they feel like they're really a part of things.

  • Wyatt, how did Henry do?

  • - So good!

  • - [Hannah] So good, who's team was he on?

  • - Me!

  • - So they don't feel like the baby's replacing them

  • in any way.

  • They don't feel jealous about the baby

  • taking up more of my time.

  • So my anxiety leading up to the day was really high

  • just because I was nervous about leaving the house.

  • Having that day out didn't cure my anxiety or anything,

  • but it was definitely a big step in figuring out something

  • that I can do that I'm comfortable with

  • and will help me healthily cope with the anxiety.

  • If you feel like you might have symptoms

  • of postpartum anxiety or postpartum depression,

  • definitely check out this link below