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- Henry, you ready to party?
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His eyes are gross!
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I decided to step out of my comfort zone a little bit
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and let the boys plan Henry's first big day out.
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We're here!
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Snack break.
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Oh yes, he's fascinated.
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Hi, I'm Hannah, I'm the world's okayest mom
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and for the past month, we have not left the house.
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This is because I have
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(Henry sneezes) oh, sneezes.
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And I have postpartum anxiety and it's hard for me to leave.
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But we're gonna let my older brothers plan my big day out,
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so hopefully it's not too crazy.
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Okay wish me luck.
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I should start off by explaining
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how postpartum anxiety manifests for me,
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it's different than postpartum depression.
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Both are very serious and both should be discussed
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with a doctor because it is more common than you think.
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So for me, postpartum anxiety,
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it's a lot of intrusive thoughts.
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Most of it is germaphobia.
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It can snowball into something really crippling
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where I become afraid of interacting with people
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because they're just walking germs to me.
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It's not logical.
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No reason.
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I think I'm just tired.
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(sighs)
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And so I'm actually in therapy for it.
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I'm not ashamed to say that I am seeking help,
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I really need it.
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What I've quickly realized this time around
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is my postpartum anxiety is not only affecting me,
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it actually affects my entire family.
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My older boys wanna go do stuff on the weekends,
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they want to take Henry places,
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they want to get out of the house.
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While the boys understand, I can also tell
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that they're disappointed
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that I'm not participating in family stuff.
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So I decided to step out of my comfort zone a little bit
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and let the boys plan Henry's first big day out.
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It's hard to plan a day for a one month old
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because they don't really do much,
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so the boys pretty much picked activities
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that they wanted to do and decided
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that they would show Henry how to enjoy these activities.
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The plan was pretty standard for my kids,
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start the morning off with Starbucks, move on to mini golf,
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then the park, then pizza and frozen yogurt.
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It's all the things that my kids love in one day.
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Henry pretty much, he's got the same cycle.
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Eat, sleep, poop, eat, sleep, poop,
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cry, cry, cry, eat, sleep, poop.
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Okay today is the day of the big outing
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and I'm gonna be honest, we had pretty much the worst night
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sleep-wise of all time last night.
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I'm quiet 'cause I'm trying to get him to nap.
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One night of bad sleep can completely derail
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an entire weekend.
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One noisy man can completely derail an entire nap.
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Getting shoes on! - Come on, Wyatt.
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- Are you ready to go Henry?
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You ready to go?
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We are on our way to our very first stop, which is what?
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- Starbucks!
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- [Hannah] Henry, what will you have?
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Tall milk? - Steamed milk.
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- Warm milk?
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Now again, we are not sponsored by Starbucks,
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I love Starbucks, I used to work there,
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I wish they would sponsor me.
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#starbuckssponsorhannah
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- I think Henry likes Starbucks.
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- I think so, he woke up,
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he smelled the food and he woke up.
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Henry!
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Can you smell the food?
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It was almost like Henry's rite of passage.
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Once you've gone to Starbucks with our family, you're in.
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You're in for life. (laughs)
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Our next stop is mini golf, which I don't really know
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how well you're gonna play, Henry,
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but the boys really wanted to go.
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It's very important that he do this
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on his first day out they said, so mini golf it is.
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It had been a hot minute since I'd been mini golfing.
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I have never been very good at it, but the boys love to go.
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They've gone with Matt several times
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and so they were really excited
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to show me how skilled they are at all of it.
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Wyatt in particular is very intense about it.
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- Hey, Jackson, you're cheating!
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- He, I think, could be a very good golfer at some point
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because he is so intense.
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- He can't put it in with his hand!
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- It's so funny to see tiny humans
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doing grown up human stuff.
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Please let me know if you've experienced this,
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but whenever my kid is seated in the car seat and poops,
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the poop ends up not in the diaper at all
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and just immediately goes all up the back.
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So straight away at the mini golf place, we had a blow out.
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In true third kid fashion,
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I just changed him right in his stroller.
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I don't care.
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You gotta do what you gotta do
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when you're out with your baby and you have your older kids.
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I'm not gonna take him back to the car
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and lay out a bunch of stuff to change him.
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Now Matt had a very special job this day,
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he was my official sanitizer.
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So I dealt with the mini golf very well, but I know myself
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and so we came armed with lots of hand sanitizer,
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wipes and all of that,
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and so before anybody touched anything,
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Matt had to fully sanitize every piece of everything
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in order to keep me comfortable.
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Which, that's marriage, baby. (laughs)
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Turns out mini golf is actually the perfect activity for me
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with my postpartum anxiety
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because I could control pretty much the whole situation.
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I could sanitize all of the parts included,
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it's outdoors so fresh air, and people are taking turns
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at each hole so it's not super crowded,
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you're not in close contact with other people.
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However, before we left,
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the boys wanted to go to another part of this park
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that completely sent me over the edge.
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Don't get me wrong, this arcade was very nice,
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I'm sure it was very clean,
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this whole place was really amazing, it's just me.
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Literally every button on every machine
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looked like 45 different people's germy hands
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coated all over everything.
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I just.
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We're gonna wait outside while they do that.
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Yuck.
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Okay we made a pit stop to change because it's getting cold.
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I mean cold for LA, but it's a little chilly
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and we weren't dressed warm enough,
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and now we're headed to the park.
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You guys ready for the park?
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- Oh yeah!
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- Do you know what a park is?
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Yes I do!
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Poor Henry can't talk, so we have to talk for him
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and everyone pretty much has their own Henry voice.
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Henry, are you excited?
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- You know what he said? - What?
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- I wanna go to the park and play with Jackson.
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- Oh yeah, Jackson! - Is that what Henry said?
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I think the appeal of a park with little kids,
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I mean my kids always wanna go to the park
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and it's the open space, they can run as fast as they want,
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there's so much room, there's so much stuff to do
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like climbing and sliding and tumbling
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and all of that stuff.
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- Henry, are you watching?
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- Yes he is totally watching you guys.
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Oh yes, he is fascinated.
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At the park, Henry got very hungry.
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There's a lot of debate around nursing in public
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and how you should nurse when your baby is hungry
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and you're out in a public space,
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so what I ended up doing was kind of hiding in the corner
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behind some trees and I nursed Henry under my sweater.
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Snack break!
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I tried to be discreet, but it's a part of life.
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This body part exists to feed humans,
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it doesn't exist for people to obsess over it.
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So if you can't differentiate,
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then maybe you should cover your own face.
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Boom.
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Breast feeding, not sexual. (laughs)
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All right that was some good play time.
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Did not take Henry out of the stroller
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because there were so many kids on the playground
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and I am terrified of germs
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and I literally heard like 45 sneezes
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in the time we were there.
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So he stayed in the stroller,
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but the boys taught him everything he needs to know
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about playing and that's all that matters.
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So the sun is starting to set
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and it's getting chilly outside
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so we have a plan B for pizza and frozen yogurt.
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We had been calling it the three P's,
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we have the three P's left of the day,
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park, pizza, pozen yogurt,
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but now it's gonna be four P's,
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park, pizza, party, pice cream.
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And we're gonna have to do it at home
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because it's getting chilly.
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Henry, you ready to party?
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His eyes are gross!
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We just walked into the house,
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we're gonna do collective bath time,
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I'm gonna order the pizza,
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got a bunch of ice cream sundae stuff.
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The minute I walked in the door to my house,
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I just felt overwhelmingly better.
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It's always good to try new things
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and I think it was important for me to test my boundaries,
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but at a certain point, it becomes detrimental
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and a little too much for me to handle,
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and so I was really glad
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that we decided to take the pizza party and ice cream party
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back to our house.
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So the boys wanted to show him out to eat pizza
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and let him smell it, so we'll see if he wakes up
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and he'll come party with us.
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The boys got their pizza, we developed a method for Henry
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to try it which is through wafting the scent over to him,
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so we wafted some pizza smell over to Henry.
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Everyone just had a great time,
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we got our ice cream sundaes.
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I have dried strawberries, chocolate sauce and marshmallows
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for toppings, three kinds of ice cream and for Henry--
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- Some milk. - Some milk.
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And I let the kids serve themselves
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because I was holding Henry and so they took full advantage
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and scooped like 5,000 scoops into their bowls,
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but that's okay it was their day.
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Well, don't mind if I do.
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Adding a baby to the family really changes the dynamic
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and in those early stages, my time is super monopolized.
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I am with the baby pretty much all the time
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because I am his food source and he needs constant care.
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And so it's really important to involve the older kids
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in a way that is fun for them
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and they feel like they're really a part of things.
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Wyatt, how did Henry do?
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- So good!
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- [Hannah] So good, who's team was he on?
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- Me!
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- So they don't feel like the baby's replacing them
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in any way.
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They don't feel jealous about the baby
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taking up more of my time.
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So my anxiety leading up to the day was really high
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just because I was nervous about leaving the house.
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Having that day out didn't cure my anxiety or anything,
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but it was definitely a big step in figuring out something
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that I can do that I'm comfortable with
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and will help me healthily cope with the anxiety.