字幕表 動画を再生する
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-Hey.
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Hey, up here.
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Hi, I'm Jimmy Fallon. Welcome to another edition
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of "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition."
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I'm up in a tree.
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Paper comes from trees.
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Written on this paper is redcross.org/statefarm.
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Our good neighbors at State Farm decided
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that they would match up to $100,000 in donations this week.
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So please donate to that.
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In fact, in just two days
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I got to say it's working and in a big way,
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and it's really cool and really important and really fun,
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so that State Farm got very excited and called us
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and said they're actually going to double that.
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That's how well it's going. So it's working, guys.
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So thank you so much. This is awesome.
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Up to $200,000 they're going to match this week.
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So please donate to that.
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It is working. What you're doing is great.
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Thank you. Thank you so much.
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We have a great show tonight.
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Former Vice President Joe Biden is on our show tonight.
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We're gonna be talking about coronavirus,
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the election, how coronavirus has affected the election.
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And there's so many -- so much stuff
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we have to talk about tonight.
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Also, I'll be talking with Lady Gaga,
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who has a giant announcement
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that she wants to make tonight on our show.
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We appreciate that.
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And we'll be talking to Andy Puddicombe, who is...
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[Quietly] the owner and very calm -- very calm voice
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that you hear when you have Headspace app.
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He's whispering in your ear.
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[ Normal voice ] That's the voice.
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Andy is on the show tonight, going to tell us
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about meditation and why it's important,
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and is it hard? Is it easy?
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How we can do it? Breathing. How to deal with anxiety.
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We'll be talking with him.
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And then we're going to close the show tonight
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with Marcus Mumford, with a new song from him.
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So thank you, Marcus. We love you.
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Guys, how about we do a little monologue?
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Need help getting up here?
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Hey, guys, before we start this monologue,
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I wanted to show you a really cool video from Anna Higgins,
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who is Steve Higgins' daughter, our announcer.
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This is a video of her.
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She's a nurse over at Mt. Sinai in Manhattan.
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And she goes to work every day.
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And she was walking to work
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and decided to videotape her walk to work.
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Take a look at how cool this is.
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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-You can do it, New York!
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-I love you, New York. Stay strong.
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That is awesome.
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Guys, let's get to the monologue. Here we go.
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Welcome to "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition" monologue.
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This is very exciting. Joe Biden is my guest tonight.
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He's actually pretty spry for 77.
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For example, he's going to Zoom with me tonight.
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That's right, Biden's been campaigning from home,
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but it's a little awkward.
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Every day, he shakes hands with his wife, Jill,
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and asks where she's from. [ Chuckles ]
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That's right, Biden has been running for president from home.
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That's right. It's just him, his family,
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and 10,000 Crest Whitestrips.
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Well, guys, today is U.S. Census Day.
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Yep, the census happens once every 10 years
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like a Batman reboot or a Larry King marriage.
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Some sports news -- There's a chance
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that the Tour de France might get canceled.
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Not 'cause of the virus -- 'cause after two months at home,
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no one wants to be seen in spandex.
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I saw that some neighbors are communicating with window signs.
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That's right, you can write "hi" to your neighbor, "stay strong,"
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or "Why did you park in front of my house
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when there's a spot in front of yours?"
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Meanwhile, some adults are turning to coloring books
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as a way to relieve stress.
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Yep, it relieves stress right up until your kids realize
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someone's filled in all their coloring books.
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"Mom!"
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Some entertainment news --
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Christopher Maloney will reprise his "Law & Order" character,
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Elliot Stabler, in a new spin-off series.
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Even though it's not "Law & Order,"
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somehow Ice-T will show up in every scene
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to say, "Guess we better pay him a visit."
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And now fans of movie "Little Women" have found a water bottle
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and a hydroflask in the background of a scene.
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Unfortunately, once you notice the flub,
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it really ruins the scene that takes place
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at a Buffalo Wild Wings.
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And finally, over 4,000 pounds of drugs were found
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in a tunnel near San Diego.
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The drugs have a street value of $30 million,
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or roughly one full package of Charmin.
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And that's tonight's monologue.
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Thank you very much, everybody.
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Well, we wanted to check in with our pal, Lady Gaga.
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She has some big news she wanted to talk to me about today.
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So I got to FaceTime with her.
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Connecting.
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Yeah. Hi. Lady Gaga?
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-Hi. Hi, everyone.
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-We have a big maybe announcement
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that you're going to say tonight on our show?
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-I can't, Jimmy.
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I can't talk right now.
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I'm really sorry.
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It's just, like, a really weird time --
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Hello? -Yeah.
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-Jimmy? I can't see you. -You're on --
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-Am I on TV?
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-Yeah. -Hold on.
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-Sorry. You're on TV. I apologize.
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[ Phone ringing ]
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Wait, what's -- -Wait. Hold on.
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-What's the big news?
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[ Phone ringing ]
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-Hey, guys, can you push that call back one minute, please?
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-Yep, okay.
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-There's something that you're working on, very big,
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that's going to help people out right now.
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-I can't -- I can't --
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I can't tell you everything right now,
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because I'm still ironing out the details.
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And I have a lot of phone calls today.
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-Do you want me to call you back?
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What's a good time, like 10 minutes?
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-Can you call me -- Can you call me Friday?
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-Can I call you on Friday? -Yeah.
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-[ Laughs ] It's --
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Yeah. It's --
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-Am I on TV?
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-It's Wednesday.
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-Can I call Fallon on Friday?
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Okay, thank you.
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Friday's great. I can do Friday.
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-Okay, I'll do Friday. I'll talk to you --
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-It's for COVID-19.
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-Okay. Alright. I'll call you on Friday.
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-Bye. Love you. -Bye, pal. I love you, too.
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-I'm so sorry I can't talk right now. I'm so sorry.
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I just -- I want to get --
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I'm trying --
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-If it's big, we'll make sure it's --
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Okay, alright, here we go.
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Alright. I'll call you on Friday.
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Okay. So I guess I won't be talking to her
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about the big news until Friday.
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So we have until Friday
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to guess what the big news is going to be.
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Oh, wait, she called me back.
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Hello?
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-I'm sorry, I just have to --
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Can we just move our time?
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-Yeah, you want me to move it?
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-Yeah, I -- Can we do it Monday?
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I promise we'll do it Monday.
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-You want to wait till Monday. Today's Wednesday, so --
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Monday? [ Laughs ]
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[ Phone ringing ]
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Oh, my heavens, you are the busiest person!
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[ Laughing ]
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So I guess it's Monday.
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Monday is when we'll find out the big news from Lady Gaga.
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Not today, Wednesday, no.
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Not Friday, nope.
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Next Monday is when we'll find out the big news from Lady Gaga.
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Thank you, Gaga, and I cannot wait to find out
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what you're brewing. It's going to be fun.
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Guys, right now, it's my time -- It's Wednesday.
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It's time to show you some of my favorite videos
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that I've seen you guys make in this quarantine.
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It's called "What Are You Doing Wednesdays."
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♪♪
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Alright, so, this is "What Are You Doing Wednesdays."
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We all know what you're doing. You're staying at home,
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but these videos all made me laugh.
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This first one here is a granddaughter
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and her grandfather having a dance-off,
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but distance -- socially distancing dance-off.
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Please enjoy.
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♪♪
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♪♪
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Grandpa's got the moves.
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This next video is a girl who wants to --
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She's tired of her boyfriend playing games.
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He's gaming too much during quarantine.
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So she wanted him to stop.
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And this is her idea of how to make him stop.
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-Hey, babe.
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[ Laughing ]
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Hold on, guys. Alisha's on my shoulders.
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What's going -- Jesus Christ!
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-Our last one, this guy misses swimming so much,
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but he thought of way around it in this quarantine.
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Pretty ingenious. Check it out.
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-[ Gasps ]
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[ Gasping ]
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-That was "What Are You Doing Wednesdays."
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Thank you so much for those. Keep filming yourself
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doing all sorts of crazy stuff during this quarantine.
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We'll be scouring the web and picking our favorites.