字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント you ladies might even accept the guy And welcome back to a little bit of big life The life and times of funny funny pits. Patrick that the first time I've made that mistake Is it Putty Fitzpatrick senior computer programmer Sam I Mass murderer doesn't really count if he didn't do it himself and he just told somebody else to do it. I'd say he's more of an entrepreneur in the hit man industry. So we're what age we know. Actually, party Fitzpatrick. It's 45 years old. He's about to come upon to his beautiful fifties, so plenty more time to kill people. I am going to kill absolutely everybody today. Everybody that I work with, all of these people dead. I am running dangerously close. Toto Bankruptcy. So maybe I should by some stuff assets. Can I do anything else? The radio's going on my finances. I've seen everything come over $106,000 but I'm spending it on a hit man. Uh, real estate broker shop for properties. No hurry. I work close to home so I can walk there every day. It's fine. I'm going to sell my care. I could take public transport. I can even uber. All right. But how am I gonna afford all of these hitmen if I can't actually afford them? I know it's simple math. Really? Put a post it online. How? It's what? Okay. Nobody wanted to buy your stolen Maserati. How do they know it's stolen, though? I'm going to do a second crime right now. I want to see if somebody will kill my step Dad for a ski was full of horrible sentences. No way. Does no one want to kill my step? That is a sentence, I just said. All right, who else? You know what? It's just our goal. My co workers. No one was killed in an inch. You'll be the hit men are on to me. Maybe the hit man. Just kill me now, Jacob Moore. No one wants to kill anybody in my life anymore. Fucking sucks. You tried to start a conversation with a coworker, Evan, about who makes the best bit life videos on YouTube. He told you he is too busy at the moment. It's me, Jack. Except the guy. Oh, man. All right, well, who is that? Evan. All right. Time to kill. I can't even pick him out of the list. This is the saddest fucking day of my life. I'm gonna rob a house Maraba house and said, Oh, God, I forgot to do this scene as many items as you can from the little old ladies home and escape without being caught. Swipe to change directions. Okay, Okay, I can do it. Oh, I didn't know Starting already. I thought it was just showing me a picture. I fucked that up. I also swipe down and it swept up. The little lady verbally abused you and kicked you out of your house. She managed to flee before the cops arrived. Thank God I'm getting away with so much of this game, My happiness is down to 10%. Sad gamer noises. All right? I need Thio. I need to spend time with everybody. You invested time and five relationship. Your stepfather refused to spend time with you. Of course he did. He never wants to hang out with me. Hey, never wants to hang out with me. Where is he? Stepfather things. Come on, I wanna murder. Except that we're gonna evolve and grow up in this game. And I'm just gonna murder myself by the end of it. All right, let's Let's a job. Pregnancy. Your wife Kira is pregnant with your baby. What do you do? Keep the baby. We tried this last time. She had a miscarriage. So I'm hoping that this time she likes to be able to keep the baby on. We have a nice, happy, fun, healthy life full of murder. All right, talk to my co workers. Who was in here? Talk to Evan again. Traded dogs on Shakira's hips. He told you he's too busy at the moment. All you had to do was tell me that the door libro I am wildly upset that I can't kill Evan. That's that's really going to fuck me up. She killed my accent, her husband thinks is weird. Lady boss trying to figure out reasons for killing them. And then I realize it's a video game. It doesn't matter. Sure, why not? Oh, for the hit man going by the name of T X. Who's willing to pull off the hit on your supervisor? Lee? What would you do? Hire her Monte X right off your money without pulling off the hit on your supervisor Lily, Can I murder my hit man? Oh, my God. The methods of murder or sword. Nasty performer drive by, strangled him club then pushed him off a cliff. Elephant laxatives. You can kill someone with an elephant. Laxatives. Hold on, everybody I'm reading. I need to keep reading To upgrade my mind, To increase my mental capacity and just make me feel at ease. I'm a read through all of little women in five minutes. I'm like Superman picked a shorter book. Could you shot? Nope. To be this way. I'm not even taking the pages anymore. Abandoned it. I didn't even get happy. Talk to Sophie again. Sophie, what's going on? She told me to shut up. Sophie is always telling me to shut up. Sophia Sophia in this list, it's not going well today. I'm gonna have to murder on my own If I can't find a hit man to do it all right. And go into a casino because I need to make back some money. I've lost a lot of money. We got to go to the coastal Shannon casino. Uh, please. Your blackjack bets. Bank balance. Okay. Uh, I'm about 10 grand. God, that's actually a really fucking good hand stand, mother fucker. It's rigged. I'm going again. Double or nothing, E 10 yes. Oh, God. All right. I want the money back that I lost. I should quit while I'm ahead. Unless it be Let's go again. Go again. I don't have a problem. You do. 12. 13. Pretty here is gonna take the kids. Oh, no, Kira, Baby, Your wife Kira is argue with you because you lost money at the casino. What would you do? I I didn't just lose money. I almost lost it all. We had 37,000 in the bank and I'm down to six grand. Apologize to work. You know, I hear Hire a hit man of myself. All right, let's Let's age up. Oh, Kira had a miscarriage again. Time to murder. You were suffering from anxiety. Oh, no. Can I hire a hit man to kill it? Can I kill my anxiety with a hit man, please? I'll pay anything. I lose as much money at the casino as you need. It's all right. I aged up. I have another 20 grand. I'm 47 years old. Let's just go up to age 50. Your wife Kira wants a divorce. She told you she has learned that variety is the spice of life. At 47. What will you do? Insult her? One of us. He's is Grace. I'm going to charge her. All right. This is This is what happens. All right, in the game A bit life. If you want a divorce, you have to fight for it. So I'm gonna charge at her if she gets past me. She's not have the divorce. If I buy her school and kill her, Whoa. The chips wherever they like. The judges recognize your pre nuptial agreement and has therefore determined no settlement amount is required to finalize your divorce. No. Okay. I'm going to bite for school. It's the same thing that happened again. Oh, no. You tried to buy your wife, Kira, but missed. How How do you miss? How do you miss biting someone like damn it? Okay. She stumped you. She jammed your torso. She busted your kneecap. You're suffering from depression. Oh, God. It's all going downhill party. What's happening? Oh, I have a What's this? Boost? Happiness. You receive an all expense paid trip to the Disney theme park of your choice from an anonymous source. You've been feeling the need for a vacation. What would you do? Here I come, Mickey. What do the hit men? They funded a trip for me because they feel bad for stealing all my money. You enjoy the free paid trip to Disney 90 Berg, old happiness, you happiness. I feel like a trip to Disney would have made me a lot happier even though my wife just left me after having a miscarriage. And then she stomped on me on Boston. My kneecaps. I think that I could be a little more than 30% happy right now. Okay, Well, time to hire a hit man and kill my ex wife. Where is she, Kira? Use there? No, on done, Chigir. Satisfaction. Guaranteed your hit man. Anton, pull up the hit on your excuse. Using a ray. Good. Well, they expect what happened. See? You know what? I missed my bite there to take my shot later. I'm no coward. I'll just hide behind a hitman. Let this be a lesson. Don't divorce party, Fitzpatrick, because he will hire a hit man and kill you. All right. William Fitzpatrick a cheese. I thought I died there for a second. Your father passed away at the age of 78. He died from Lyme disease in 2020. Really? Is your responsibility to plan a funeral Planets form? All right, It's time to decide what to do with your father's remains. His wish was to be buried. What would you do while he's dead? So I guess his wishes don't matter. Berry Um information. Taxidermy. Donate to science. Let's bury him.