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  • All right.

  • Thank you.

  • Hello.

  • It's my second time on the show around.

  • First time must have been okay, but they say during the summer that drinks are ice cold.

  • I hope not, because that means that would be impossible to drink because they would be solid.

  • Here's a Here's a beer major size cold.

  • Damn it.

  • I guess I can lick it.

  • I read that.

  • Ah, last year, M TV's real world got 40,000 applications.

  • That's amazing, man.

  • Such a even number, Do you think will be 40,000 and eight, maybe.

  • Yeah, I got a lamp in my hotel room and has a three way life all But if you don't know what light bulbs a three way light ball that messes with your head because you go to turn it off and it just gets brighter.

  • Damn it, Light bulb.

  • That's the exact opposite of what I want you to do.

  • When you turn it again against brother once more, I will break you.

  • Uh, that's the only reason I had this thing out here.

  • Yeah, I saw a commercial.

  • I said, forget everything you know about slip covers.

  • So I did.

  • And it was a load off my mind when it comes to try to sell slipcovers, but I don't know what the hell they were.

  • Now there's a hippopotamus, a hippopotamus or a really cool apart.

  • Amiss.

  • I wanna rob a bank with a BB gun.

  • Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple.

  • I'll be rich.

  • You will be cute.

  • I got a belt on that's holds up.

  • My pants and my pants have belt loops.

  • I hold up my belt.

  • What they're really what the hell is really going on down there?

  • Who is the real hero, huh?

  • Now, if I was a drummer and I accidentally grabbed that because you're a drummer and accidentally grabbed two magic wands instead of drumsticks pounding out the beat.

  • Next thing you know, your bass player turns into a can of soup.

  • Okay, we take that joke out.

  • Can we edit it?

  • I love cottage cheese.

  • That's why I want try other dwelling cheeses, too.

  • I want a studio, apartment keys, maybe big blue cheese or, if I'm feeling adventurous, mobile home team Tony Mobile hoagies during a tornado, it would be devastating.

  • Dr.

  • Scholl makes foot products, and he's a doctor.

  • Which means you went to school for a long time.

  • But it doesn't take a lot to figure out that stepping on a cushion will be more comfortable.

  • That dude wasted lots of time at school.

  • I bought that from a Mr Soll.

  • I always say, made for heat.

  • A cologne?

  • That still smells good.

  • I hate to sleep because I know I like to sleep.

  • I hate to dream because dreaming takes energy.

  • It takes work.

  • Sleeping is supposed to be relaxing affair.

  • I lay down a better feels great.

  • Next thing you know, I have to build a go kart with my ex landlord.

  • If you can't sleep, count sheep don't count endangered animals.

  • You will run out.

  • I bought a donor and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut.

  • I don't need to receive for a donor.

  • I'll just give you the money.

  • Then you give me the donut and a transaction.

  • We don't need to bring ink and paper into this.

  • I just can't imagine a scenario where I had to prove that I bought a donut.

  • Some skeptical friend.

  • Don't even act like I didn't get that donut.

  • I got the documentation right here.

  • I saw this lady on TV.

  • She was born without arms.

  • She was born with her hands attached to her shoulders.

  • And that was sad.

  • But then they said Lola does not know the meaning of the word Can't.

  • And that, to me, was actually kind of worse in a way.

  • Now we just have arms.

  • But she doesn't understand simple contractions.

  • Thank you.

All right.


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B1 中級

ミッチ・ヘドバーグコナン・オブライエンとの夜更けに (Mitch Hedberg: I Wish They Made Fajita Cologne - "Late Night With Conan O'Brien")

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日