This next podcast is for you.

No bull, no filler,

just news and analysis that's straight to the point.

No beating around the bush, no wasting your time,

no repetition.

We know you're a busy person who's always on the go.

This next podcast is for you.

Buckle your seat belts.

Desi Lydic and Michael Kosta present, Podcast Today.

(upbeat music)

- [Michael] Hello, and welcome to Podcast Today,

where we cut through the noise and bring you real talk

about what's happening today.

- [Desi] I'm Desi Lydic.

- [Michael] I'm Michael Kosta.

- [Desi] Before we get to today's episode,

some quick housekeeping.

Thursday's pod will be released at 6 p.m.

instead of 1 p.m. because I have to take my dog

to the dentist.

- [Michael] Also a little more housekeeping,

Friday's show is a listener mailbag.

Send those questions to podtodayletters@mindspring.emai.

- [Desi] One last bit of housekeeping,

Thursday's pod will be at 1 p.m. again,

my dog no longer has a cavity.

- [Michael] Oh, terrific.

- [Desi] Turns out my dog didn't have a cavity,

he just ate a Sharpie.

- [Michael] We should also mention tickets are now on sale

to our live shows in Oklahoma City,

Minneapolis and Hartford.

- [Desi] Right, use code I'm with podcasts or--

- [Michael] San Antonio, Jacksonville, Biloxi, Philadelphia.

- [Desi] Right, and you can use code--

- [Michael] Detroit, Miami, Green Bay, Providence, Atlanta.

Chesapeake, Fresno, Norfolk and Boise.

- [Desi] Is that all?

Can I announce a code now?

- [Michael] Go for it.

- [Desi] Use code, I'm with podcast--

- [Michael] Indianapolis, St. Louis and Providence,

we'll see you soon.

- [Desi] Use code, I'm with podcast for two percent off

early bird tickets.

- [Michael] I forgot to mention Branson, Missouri.

We're also going to be in Branson, Missouri.

(upbeat music)

- [Desi] Hey, just a reminder that

you should follow @podcasttoday on Twitter.

- [Michael] Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook--

- [Desi] TikTok--

- [Michael] Pinterest--

- [Desi] MySpace--

- [Michael] AdultFriendFinder--

- [Desi] And of course, the weightlifting forums.

(upbeat music)

- [Michael] This episode of podcast today

is brought to you by Shrimp Fix.

- [Desi] Every week, Shrimp Fix sends you a 24 pound

box of delicious Gulf shrimp.

- [Michael] Are you tired of walking down the sidewalk

with a big net full of shrimp?

Try Shrimp Fix.

It's shrimp delivered straight to your front door.

- [Desi] Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Look on your doorstep.

It's a big box of shrimp.

- [Michael] Are you still going to the grocery store

to buy shrimp?

What are you Amish?

- [Desi] Log on to shrimpfix.com/podcasttoday

and your first order will come

with a free bucket of tartar sauce.

(upbeat music)

- [Michael] Before we get started,

we have an exciting announcement about a new partnership.

- [Desi] Podcast Today is teaming up with the good folks

at votesbank.org for a great project.

Here's the deal, ahead of the election, votesbank.org

and Podcast Today are going to make polling sites

brand spanking new.

- [Michael] That's right Desi, we're going to renovate

and de-vermin church basements, school gyms,

abandoned circuit cities,

anywhere votes are going to be cast.

- [Desi] No more polling places will be closed

because of raccoon infestations, unlike the last time.

- [Michael] All you have to do to participate

is go to votesbank.org, sign up, give them your name,

email address, birth date, home address,

work address, income level.

- [Desi] You just show up in some loose fitting clothes

preferably all black, bring some work gloves, a ski mask

and 20 feet of nautical grade rope and you're all set.

- [Michael] Let's spank this election, flat palms,

big wind up, firm contact.

- [Desi] Votesbank.org.

Together we can make democracy brand spanking new.

(upbeat music)

- [Michael] You know, I think it's time to

introduce our guest, Desi.

- [Desi] Yeah, that's right.

He's a correspondent for The Daily Show

with Trevor Noah, Jaboukie Young-White.

- [Jaboukie] Thanks so much for having me.

You know, the studio is a lot smaller

than I thought it would be.

(group laughing)

- [Desi] Now Jaboukie, before we talk shop,

you have a book to promote?

- [Jaboukie] Yes, well it's actually more

like a Twitter account.

It's my Twitter account @Jaboukie.

- [Michael] Cool and where can our listeners

find your Twitter account?

- [Jaboukie] On Twitter.

- [Michael] Fantastic, I can't wait to read it, Desi.

- [Desi] Before we get to Jaboukie,

we just have a little more housekeeping.

Podcast Today is looking for new theme music.

- [Michael] So if you're an amateur composer

and you want to compose our theme song for free,

you can submit your compositions

at podcasttodaymusic@prodigy.net.

- [Desi] Just a few guidelines.

Your theme song has to be original.

- [Michael] It has to be less than 30 seconds.

- [Desi] It has to be funky.

- [Michael] It must include a flute.

- [Desi] There can't be any screams in the background.

- [Michael] And it must be in a frequency

that sends marine life into a frenzy.

- [Desi] Lyrics cannot include slurs

against Macedonians or Turks.

- [Michael] But they must include at least two references

to Sigourney Weaver.

- [Desi] Get those submissions in guys,

can't wait to hear them.

- [Michael] Okay, we want to remind our listeners

to check out our sister pod, Podcast Today this week.

- [Desi] This week on Podcast Today,

this week will have some amazing guests,

including Montana Governor

and former presidential candidate Steve Bullock.

- [Michael] Is he related to Sandra Bullock?

- [Desi] That's what we're going to find out, tune in.

- [Michael] You know what I was thinking?

If Sandra Bullock were the first lady, she'd turn

the White House into The Lake House, you know I'm saying?

- [Desi] I don't think I do.

- [Jaboukie] Yeah, what does that mean?

- [Michael] You know, The Lake House.

2006?

Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock exchange love letters

through a mysterious time space portal

inside of a lake house's mailbox?

- [Desi] Podcast Today is brought to you by Claire Space.

Need a website specifically dedicated to Claire Danes?

Use Claire Space, we have thousands of different templates

you can use to create a website revolving around

the actress Claire Danes and nothing else.

I'm serious.

If you try to make the website about muffins or something

then your computer will crash and give you a virus.

Claire Space because Claire Danes is a national treasure.

- [Jaboukie] Kosta, you use Claire space right?

- [Michael] I actually use Claire Space

to build my internet tribute to Brokedown Palace.

- [Desi] Claire Space.

If you make a website about Jennifer Love Hewitt,

you're gonna get malware.

- [Michael] And now it's time to get to the point.

(upbeat music)

As always, Get To The Point is sponsored by

Henry's Rusty Shave Club.

Henry's Rusty Shave Club was started by two college

roommates who hated shaving with high priced razors

so they decided to do something about it.

They bought a German factory that had been making torture

devices until it abruptly shut down in 1945

but was still filled with thousands of boxes of used,

oxidizing 74 year old razors

and Henry's Rusty Shave Club was born.

Now for only eight bucks a month you'll get vintage,

tetanus, lubricated blades delivered right to your door.

Henry's Rusty Shave Club, life is rough.

Shouldn't your shave be to?

- [Desi] That ad for Henry's Rusty Shave Club

is sponsored by Buck Banger.

The fastest easiest way to send money.

Kosta, you use Buck Banger this week?

- [Michael] I sure did.

So Monday I went to the movies with my buddy.

We saw Aladdin again.

- [Desi] Oh you love a rapping Genie.

- [Michael] I can't help it.

Anyway, we get the tickets.

We see the movie.

It's magical.

And on the way out of the parking lot,

I run over a rare bird.

- [Desi] Oh, a rare bird?

- [Michael] Yeah, an ivory billed woodpecker.

Crazy endangered, huge fines for turning it

into a road pancake.

So naturally, I opened my wallet to buy

the silence of all the witnesses.

But uh oh, I spent my last Jackson on Mr. Will Smith's

heartwarming and humorous Tour de Force.

So what do I do?

I open the Buck Banger app, send $50 bribes to everyone

who saw me do it.

And I'm home by dinnertime googling

when is Aladdin Two coming out?

By the way, the answer?

Not soon enough.

- [Desi] Uh, Kosta?

You just confessed to a crime.

- [Michael] What?

The crime of loving Aladdin?

If that's a crime, then lock me up in solitary confinement,

preferably with a blu-ray of Will Smith's Aladdin,

Buck Banger, the easiest way to send money.

(upbeat music)

- [Desi] All right, let's get to the point.

- [Michael] But before we do we need to address something

we said on Monday's show.

Let's take a listen.

(upbeat music)

- [Desi] It's Monday and before we get started,

we have some housekeeping.

- [Michael] Right, Tuesday's show will be pushed back

to 3 p.m. instead of 1 p.m.

- [Desi] I have to be home at 1 p.m.

to get my latest shipment from Shrimp Fix.

- [Michael] Hey, um, is it bad that,

if hypothetically a dog eats a Sharpie?

- [Desi] Just some housekeeping on that bit of housekeeping.

Tuesday's show was actually released at 3.30 p.m.

instead of 3 p.m.

- [Michael] Instead of 1 p.m.

- [Desi] Because we had more housekeeping

than we anticipated.

- [Michael] And just a bit more housekeeping.

We are aiming to have less housekeeping going forward.

- [Desi] That's right.

Fewer house housekeeping.

- [Michael] Fewer housekeepings.

- [Jaboukie] Guys by the way,

it's actually houses keeping like attorney's general