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  • Hello.

  • Welcome to another Isles writing video.

  • In today's lesson, we're looking at how we can start and structure sentences in our academic task.

  • One response on the Isles examination If you find this video helpful, please visit my blawg.

  • That's Isles.

  • I'll start calm and a new website.

  • I've started to help international s ell students find teachers and schools at e s l meet dot com to start today's lesson.

  • I have a question, a task, one question that I thought we could look at together and just go slowly through the steps we would need to take to respond to it effectively.

  • Although I don't have access to the actual source material that appeared on the Isles examination last month, this is a question that did appear in December.

  • But as I said, the diagram in the graph that you see are two things that I had to create myself.

  • So it's not exactly the same as the question that was seen on the examination, but the topic is very similar.

  • Okay, the question reads, the Graf and diagram below show how and to what degree water was used in Australia in 2004 summarized the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

  • So these are, um the instructions that were to follow in this task.

  • And we've been told that this is data pertaining to Australian water usage in the year 2004.

  • Now first were shown this diagram, and I hope this appears to you clearly through the video.

  • But I'll go over the details aloud so that you can understand what it looks like.

  • I'll also post this picture to my blawg so you can maybe full it along there a little bit more clearly.

  • So what we see here is a house and, um, a number of different ways.

  • Water was used in Australia and to what percentage it was used in the year 2000.

  • For now, before we go to the details, let's read the description of the diagram.

  • It says the average annual household water usage in Australia for the year 2000 and four.

  • So if we look at the diagram, we can see that, um, for the lawn, 35% overall water usage, uh, was was used here.

  • Ah, the bathroom is 23% plus toilet, 26%.

  • So that's 49% in total.

  • So even though maybe you know, you know, when we first look at the diagram, we might originally think, well, the lawn makes up the largest share of overall water usage.

  • That's actually not correct.

  • The largest share would be the collective usage with in the bathroom, which is 49% or about half of all water usage.

  • Cleaning 2% kitchen, 5% laundry, 9%.

  • So, as we can see, there's basically three different ways in which water is used.

  • If we group them together, the bathroom, which makes up almost 50% the lawn, which is 35% and then other household uses, which make up roughly 15 16% If we if we grouped them like that, and that's how we're going to report them in our response.

  • So there's the diagram.

  • Now let's continue on to the graph, and again, I hope this comes across clearly in the video, but I will post it to the blawg.

  • The graph reads liters of water use per average households per day in Australia in the year 2000 and four.

  • So now here we can see that our Y coordinate is talking about the leaders of water use per average household per day.

  • Uh, and we can see that the figures are up around four hundred's between 403 50 leaders per day in Australia in 2004.

  • Uh, along the x coordinate, we have the months January to December and, um, the There's nothing super outstanding about the graph itself.

  • As you can see, it just makes sort of, ah, minor, um, depression.

  • And then it kind of raises again towards the end of the year.

  • And, of course, in Australia, the hottest months or between perhaps, ah, November and February.

  • And that seems to coincide with water usage.

  • So I I don't know.

  • I guess perhaps that maybe maybe water usage grows.

  • Uh, you know, during the hotter months, because Maur is used to maybe wash with her or Thio or to water the lawn with And then, during the the months of Major league May, June, July, August September, Uh, the figure depresses, and it remains quite constant.

  • So when we go to explain this trend in our response, we're going to describe the overall trend is being not super outstanding, not nothing to extreme.

  • It's basically just starting.

  • It's it kind of dips modestly.

  • And then towards the end of the year it starts to climb again.

  • But But throughout the year, the figures are are, you know, not not too extreme between 3 50 and about 410 leaders of water per day per household.

  • Okay, now, eso we've looked at the two, uh, sources that we're going to be writing about now.

  • I want to go over very quickly the structure that we're going to use to respond to these and to describe these two sources.

  • So basically, your Eilts response is going to have between nine and perhaps 10 11 or 12 sentences.

  • Sometimes it depends on what kind of data you're given, and you know how much time you need and how much how many sentences you need to explain it.

  • But roughly nine or 10 sentences is going to be what we're aiming for, and that will put us at just above 150 words.

  • And it will also, um, it will also be a structure that we can complete within 18 minutes, which provides us with two minutes at the end with which we can review what we have written.

  • So what I've done here is, as you can see, on the left hand side, there are and some numbers 12 and it goes all the way down to I believe number nine.

  • And each of these numbers is referring to a sentence within your task.

  • One response.

  • Now, Next, Each number I've put some suggested sentence starters or even small parts of a sentence that you can use to help explain the data that you are talking about.

  • So now, of course, these, you know, these are not.

  • You don't have to use these phrases.

  • But these are just a few of these suggestions that that I will share with you today.

  • No.

  • In the first sentence, we want to give sort of a very broad sort of background as to what kind of data we're being shown.

  • Is it a graph?

  • Is it a diagram?

  • Is it a chart?

  • Is it a table?

  • You know what kind of information is being shown to us and this sentence can be started?

  • Something like this.

  • So the and then if it's a graph, so so the graph.

  • And if you have two sources like we do today, we would maybe say the diagram and ah, graph illustrate.

  • And then, you know, whatever it is that they're talking about, So today we're referring to the average, uh, use of water in Australian homes in 2004.

  • So we would say something along the lines of, you know, the diagram and Graff illustrate water usage in the average Australian home during the year of 2004.

  • Or, you know, we don't have to use illustrate we could use, depict, explain, show some of these sorts of words.

  • So let's go ahead and write the first sentence of our task.

  • One response, and I think we'll probably just follow, You know what I just said?

  • So the diagram and Graf Gillis Street, uh, water usage in the average Australian home during the year 2004.

  • Okay, that's our opening sentence.

  • So we have.

  • We have just relate to our examiner exactly what kind of data we're looking at and what the data shows.

  • Now, we haven't talked about any of the details of the data, but we have just, you know, uh, set up the the task.

  • One response for the details that are to come later.

  • Now that we've done that, our second sentence is a sentence that we can use to show the relationship between the two pieces of data if we're given to sources like we have been here, so, you know, if you're given, perhaps if you're given a table in a graph, there might be a certain trend that is created between the two of them.

  • Um, so in a case like that, you might want to start your sentence with something like the overall trend created between the two sources.

  • Ah, you know, grows over the course of the year, or or declines or, uh is unstable Or, um, you know, these sorts of things.

  • You're just trying to explain what the two sources together show.

  • So the overall trend created between the two sources shows we're, uh or illustrates.

  • Or perhaps you could start The relationship between the two sources appears to show maybe that you know, there's a positive correlation between them, which means they move in the same direction.

  • Or there's a negative correlation between them, which means perhaps one source moves in one direction.

  • The other source moves in the opposite direction.

  • Or perhaps you could start the, um, the The diagram shows, you know, whatever, comma while the graph shows and then whatever the graph shows, and it's probably what will use here.

  • Or perhaps even the two sources illustrate how and then whatever or why something happens or what something what sort of thing happens.

  • So just last week I was in a class and we were working on a response that was based on two diagrams that depicted a, ah, an irrigation system for tomatoes, and it explained how two different parts of this system worked.

  • So when we wrote our response, we wrote something similar to this.

  • The two sources illustrate how, ah, how the process of irrigating tomatoes in a dry landscape works or you know, something like that.

  • So let's write our sentence here.

  • Now we're talking about a diagram and Graff and, uh, each piece.

  • Each source tells us something a little different about three information, but they both pertain to the same core, which is water usage in Australia.

  • So let's rate the diagram details.

  • How the water was used I'm using was because this is in 2000 for it's something that has started and finished, uh, was used wild.

  • The church depicts to what quantity?

  • Let's see.

  • So our diagram tells us how the water was used.

  • It was used to water the lawn.

  • It was used in the bathroom.

  • It was used for health household chores while the charts depicts to what quantity.

  • So how much water was used from January to December?

  • Okay, that's the relationship between the two data sources.

  • Now we've finished our two opening sentences and books, and these two sentences are the introduction to the rest of the work that we're going to do.

  • So when the following sentences were going to skip a line and starts a new paragraph So sentence number three now marks Ah, point in our writing, when we're gonna talk about the details that are shown in the diagram.

  • So we're going to start talking about the diagram when we finish that, Then we're going to start another new paragraph, which will be the third paragraph in our response that talks about the details as seen in the graph that were given.

  • So how do we start this paragraph to talk about the diagram?

  • Well, when you're given two sources, there are a number of ways that you can start this paragraph so we could start with according to the graph, according to the diagram according to the pie chart, comma.

  • And then, you know, you could state the broad trends that you see in this data.

  • So according to the the chart, comma buses come regularly every morning in Shanghai or, you know, whatever the broad trend is in the source that you're given, or perhaps looking at the chart looking at the diagram, it is clear that and then whatever.

  • Or maybe it it is, Um, maybe even it is not entirely clear that depending on what kind of information you're given, the diagram shows a clear and then whatever.

  • Or the chart shows a clear growth over the period of six months, or the table shows a clear cyclical pattern.

  • If you're talking about a bus timetable, something like that would be fine.

  • It appears the the diagram outlines a upward trend, or the graph outwards outlines, uh, downward trend or or whatever.

  • I think that's the end of the so here we're talking about the diagram, and let's start with what we have here according to the diagram.

  • So we'll take all this away according to the diagram Comma the Now we want to state, uh, you know, like the largest figure.

  • Or, you know, kind of Thea, uh, sort of the part of the of the information that that is the majority of what is being shown.

  • So according to the diagram, the vast majority um, the vast majority of the water consumed in the average Australian home is used.

  • As we said in the bathroom.

  • Now I'm going to stick in the figure here, too.

  • According to the diagram, the vast majority coma 40.

  • Let me just get that diagram out here again.

  • I think it was 49%.

  • Was it 23% plus 26%.

  • 49%.

  • The vast majority, 49% comma of the water consumed in the average Australian home is used in the bathroom.

  • Okay, Now, the way that I've used this here is I have, you know, surrounded the figure with two commas, which makes your reader pause one moment when the reading it.

  • So according to the diagram, the vast majority 49% of the water conceived in the average Australian home is used in the bathroom.

  • So here's, you know, just an idea for you, a way that you can kind of share the value of what you're talking about without breaking the readers fluency while they read the sentence.

  • Okay, so, uh, so we've shared, you know, the this is the largest, ah, share of the water that is used in the average home in Australia.

  • Now, in the next sentence, we want to break this down a little bit more and to show that this 49% is actually, you know, is actually separated in the diagram into two different parts.

  • So one deals with Thea with water used just for the toilet and the other deals with the water that is used for the other things that you do in the bathroom.

  • So that's what we're gonna do in our next sentence.

  • We're gonna take the largest share, and we're gonna break it down a little bit more.

  • Okay?

  • Half of this pertains to which we will use here.

  • Or maybe, you know, depending on what you're talking about, you might use phrases like this figure foals and all of these should be followed by two.

  • This figure falls to 6%.

  • This figure falls, too.

  • Uh, whatever it is, 30% or or ah, or 3000 people.

  • Or, you know, depending on what you're looking at, this figure jumps, too.

  • This figure declines slightly, too.

  • This figure plateaus at plateaus That, uh, you know, we can also change figure two.

  • Maybe this number or even maybe this value.

  • You know, there's a variety of ways that we can write this now.

  • Commonly, students make mistakes with the proposition they choose to follow these phrases with.

  • So this figure falls by you can use.

  • But of course, now we're changing the meaning of the sentence.

  • So, for example, if I say this figure falls to 8% 8% that means that the new value of the figure is 8%.

  • But if I say this figure falls by 8% that means that the new figure is a percent lower than the old figure.

  • Okay, so don't make mistakes with these little words.

  • They're very important.

  • Uh, now, if you know, sometimes even students make the mistake of using words like at, I mean at has a totally different meaning.

  • If we say this, this value falls at 8%.

  • That means that when the value got to 8% at that point, it started to fall.

  • So be careful with the words as you use them.

  • Okay?

  • Plateaus at grows modestly to modestly.

  • Good word to know you could say it falls modestly to it.

  • Ah, um, it rises modestly to it's it's ah, modestly is a great word just to describe those small little changes that occur, You know, in your in your source spikes at so if the if the value goes up very sharply and then maybe comes down a little bit, this is a spike spikes that dips, too, which means falls to swells to gets bigger shrinks to get smaller bottoms at, which would be the lowest value in the graph for whatever you're being shown.

  • Okay, I hope a few of those phrases are helpful.

  • Now let's go back to our sentence here.

  • And we were going to write about the bathroom value and how that can be split into two different sections as well.

  • So half of this pertains to I'm just gonna change this little bit.

  • Let's say over the value for the the toilet was 26% if I'm not mistaken here, 26%.

  • So let's say over half of this amount Service's toilet alone while the remaining it's while the remaining half we'll see addresses other toiletry needs.

  • Okay, now Ah, One thing I'll just point out is words like this are very important because thes air words that create cohesion in your writing.

  • So as you can see, sentence number four refers to the sentence that we wrote in number three over half of this amount.

  • What amount are we talking about?

  • We're talking about the 49% that we initially spoke of in sentence number three eso over half of this amount.

  • Service is the toilet alone, while the remaining half addresses the other toiletry needs.

  • Okay, now, although you could share a value for this and say, you know that amount is 23%.

  • I'm not gonna do that because we don't need to address, you know, every single small detail and it can sound kind of robotic if you you know, if you say this value is this, this value is this.

  • This value is this.

  • This value is this.

  • So we're just gonna try to make this as fluent as we can and as easy to read as we can.

  • So we've already mentioned that they make up 49% together, and now we're mentioning that it's about half toilet and half other bathroom necessities.

  • Okay, let's go to sentence number five.

  • No.

  • So here I've written more of the same, which just means that, you know, we were gonna continue talking about the more minor details in our data source.

  • So let's see, we had some water that's gonna be used for the lawn.

  • That's the next biggest thing.

  • So let's let's talk about that in this sentence.

  • So I recall it was 35% stubble.

  • Check here.

  • 35% was used for the lawn.

  • So, um, we can start this sentence with perhaps something like the next most major use.

  • Major use of water is for watering the lawn, and I was gonna put in a coma, a task that makes up 35% of total water usage.

  • Okay, The next most major, a game cohesion.

  • When we read this, we know there was information that came before it.

  • So this creates a sense of fluency when, uh, when the reader reads this piece.

  • The next most major use of water is for watering the lawn, a task that makes up 35% of total water usage.

  • And on to sentence six, which I've just noted this we, uh you know, we don't have to have to have, you know, six sentence.

  • We don't have to have another sentence in this paragraph if we don't need it.

  • But if we do as we do here, we're going to add one and maybe even another sentence if it's if it's required, depending on how much information you have to present in this paragraph.

  • So for us, we only have a few more things we have to talk about.

  • There was laundry, water usage, uh, kitchen, water usage and general cleaning.

  • And each of those, you know, had rather small percentages.